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the only thing that counts...

2010-05-02T16:42:00.000-05:00

Galatians 5:6 has really been getting to me recently. To be fair, I was already pretty messed up because of all the stuff we've gotten into by becoming a foster family and from reading the book Guerrilla Lover by Vince Antonucci. But then when he used this verse in the last chapter it has just hung with me.

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself though love.

Now how on earth are we supposed to get around that? The answer is we're not. If we want to be what we claim to be--followers of Jesus Christ--then there's no avoiding the outward expression of those beliefs with not just random acts of kindness, but a life characterized by unselfish compassion. James 1:27 has been hounding me about it for years (or probably decades, since the Bible I used as a teen has this written in the margin: dirty hands, clean hearts).

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

It's in the Bible practically everywhere you look yet it's hard to find when you look around the church. I guess that's not true. I do see people serving each week for an hour or two or giving generous amounts of money, but I guess what I mean is that I want to see that on every day of the week. That we the church would give our WHOLE lives to Christ and not just the few hours per week we decide to allocate to our Creator. That we would get our hands dirty up to the armpits and allow the way we express our faith as love to bleed over into every single thing we do.

So here's my big ask: come get dirty with me. Let's go live out our faith as a group that boldly carries the message of His great love and mercy into our world. Let's pick someone or a group of someones that God has placed into our paths and just literally love the hell out of them.

For Brannon and I, it has become profoundly clear that who that means for us is our foster daughters' mom. She sincerely wants to be a good mother to her girls but she doesn't know the first thing about it. And as much as Brannon and I would love to just fill that gap, we have found that our efforts are always going to come up short. We can never push hard enough to get that plane off the ground.

So, I would like to invite all of my friends, in person, online, and otherwise, to come join us on this mission. We will send out an event invitation on Facebook and then ask some of you in person. (If you haven't friended me on FB, please do.) We'll start off by getting together over a dinner party and just share the details of the situation (no physical family to speak of and no Christian family but us). Then we'll brainstorm what we need to do to love her. Then we'll figure out which people are going to be good project managers or administrators and who will be good movers and mentors and chauffeurs and phone callers and givers and everything else that she needs. Then we'll just do it. And we'll keep doing it not just until she gets her girls back, but until she has developed her own permanent Christian family (which of course by that time may include some of us). And all along the way we'll meet, and party some more, and hold each other up, and walk alongside each other, and laugh, and cry, and just generally become more like Jesus.

So come and go on a mission with me. It will be really hard. It will seem slow and frustrating. You might lose interest in TV or sports or whatever other hobby you may have had. But you'll feel more alive than maybe you've felt for a long time. And you'll be living the life that is really life. You'll come to know God better than ever. Plus, you'll get glimpses of the face of Jesus over and over as the body of Christ comes together and does what we were called to do. What we were made to do.

Pray about it. Ask God if this is what He wants you to devote a season of your life to (because I'm not just asking for a couple of hours a week). And if this particular journey isn't your next step, then ask God what yours is and jump into it with both feet. And share what you're doing with us to encourage us along the way.

Who's in?

guerrilla love attack

2010-03-21T17:35:00.001-05:00

Today was Gabby's birthday party. Back around Christmas, someone from work anonymously gave our family a big gift card to Incredible Pizza which we saved for today. (Didn't sound like fun during the Daniel Fast and this seemed like the best way to make it a memorable event!) Well, memorable is exactly what it was. Not only did Gabby have the time of her four-year-old life, but I think we executed a near-perfect ambush on their mom Ashley and her friend James. After sending out a message to my LifeGroup, some family, and close friends, we ended up having over 40 people and an seemingly endless mound of presents to demonstrate very tangibly just how much God can love a displaced little girl and an aimless young mom.

Some tactical wins to share from this attack:

Ashley visited a different LifeChurch.tv campus and got to see that God is there to welcome her into His house even on a different side of town and with all new people.
Her friend James who gives her rides (she's never even had a drivers' license) has never stayed any of the previous times. This time though, he came to church and sat with us. He seemed to have a fine time and commented on how much he liked the security for the kids.
Gabby got to feel what family really feels like at a birthday. The only people she could call family before was her mom and her mom's step-dad who lives in another state. Anyone else she's ever known as family has demonstrated something far different than God's love than what she saw today.
I got a text this afternoon from Ashley who asked me to "tell my people thanks." She said she had a really great time.
On our way back home, Brannon and I were talking about how overwhelmed we were with the number of people who came and how cool about it all everyone was. Then he said he just realized that all of those people came as much for us as they did for Gabby. We are so tremendously blessed and grateful for friends that would dump the money on food and games but also on presents for a little girl some of them had only met once.
Like I did on the first week we had the girls at a Christmas party for foster families, we saw the face of Jesus again today. It's so beautiful to see the body of Christ unite around a mission of love and awesome that God would honor even a relatively small group of 40 believers and incarnate His image for a misguided young mother.

my new favorite blog

2010-03-13T10:36:00.000-06:00

God brought me across the path of a remarkable lady named Deborah Shropshire recently. She is a pediatrician who oversees the care for the shelters OK County Department of Human Services (I don't know her exact title, but it's a big deal). Her blog is so gripping and informative and inspiring to me and is about all that God has us in the middle of right now. I'd love you to check out Fostering Hope Project.

famous blogger mention

2010-03-01T22:00:00.000-06:00

I saw my famous blogger friend in Atlanta in November. To be fair, I became friends with him shortly before his meteoric rise to fame so he was just a regular blogger at the time. As fun as it is to catch up with him, it is even funner (that's a word in my book) to read about it in his very famous blog. Since I know many of you can relate to this topic, I give you:

Stuff Christians Like #719 Pastors Who Mess You Up

talking it over

2010-02-28T21:36:00.000-06:00

At our church, we're several months into a campaign called Talk It Over. Basically, it's just offering opportunities and prompts to get people to talk about the message they hear on the weekend and process it until it becomes a personal action step. It's basically trying to determine what God is saying to you personally through the message. Anyway, what I've come to recognize in the process of going through the feedback we get about the videos and discussion questions and study guides we've been sending out, is that the vast majority of people really never talk about anything that matters.

Weather? Check. Sports? Check. Hobbies? News? All of that is so surface really. Even things we get heated about like politics and the economy won't really matter a few decades from now. So instead of getting people to talk about the message, our first step is to get people to just dip their heads under the surface and get used to talking about something that really matters. To get up close and personal about what's going on in them spiritually.

One thing we've found that as really pushed that envelope for us is having the foster kids. They are like a breathing billboard for something that matters. Everywhere we go, even with complete strangers, we end up talking about stuff that matters. Today even, someone I would have normally just talked gardening with and left it at that ended up sharing about her own past with an abusive home.

So then, short of passing out foster kids at the door as people leave church, what have you found gets people to talk about important matters in your life? What gets you to open up and let your guard down? Or do you? What have been your experiences recently with Talking It Over?

choreography

2010-02-05T23:19:00.000-06:00

On Wednesday, God brought a woman into our LifeGroup that was an encouragement, was able to provide key information and contacts I need, and was just a wonderful new friend and resource. Then a guest post on my pastor's blog gave me just the right framework to really get my boys excited even more about this adventure God has called us on. Then tonight, as a friend's going-away party we met another lady who is also all of those same things the first woman was (plus she's neck deep in fostering too). At every turn it seems God keeps bringing people across our path and even reconnecting us with people we already knew that are joining the story of this rescue we've stumbled into.

A lifetime ago, I was a dancer. People who know me today probably can't imagine me with pointe shoes on let alone tap shoes. What's weird though is that I'm not at all the kind of person to enjoy just dancing at a party or with my husband or anything at all un-choreographed. I would dance on a stage in front of any size audience as long as I already knew the steps.

And that's how I've lived for a long time. Dancing only the steps I already knew. Staying in my own circles. But now, the music keeps beckoning me to just dance without knowing what comes next. And it has been wonderful. But even in the swirling dizziness of it all, I keep noticing little patterns and rhythms in it. I am starting to realize that I am dancing a waltz that was choreographed long before I ever put on my first ballet shoes. It isn't just aimless and accidental. It is what I was made to do. It's what all the hours (or years in my case) of warming up at the barre has been preparing me for.

So what about you. Are you dancing with Him? What is your dance like right now?

the power of forgiveness

2010-01-31T14:23:00.001-06:00

Only one thing is more powerful than the destructive force of bitterness. And that is the cleansing force of forgiveness. I don't know how God made it possible for people who are victims of horrible abuse and mistreatment to be able to forgive. But I am thankful that Jesus made a way. Do you really think about the amazing gift that we were given when we were forgiven? I don't. Not very often anyway.

We spent a lot of time this weekend coming to terms with a world so lost and broken that it would hurt innocent little children. But God made a way for us to overcome it. But the road is the way of forgiveness not bitterness.

shame

2010-01-30T13:55:00.000-06:00

Have you ever experienced shame? I mean, not just momentary situational embarrassment, but looming humiliating shame? God showed me a tiny glimpse of it in a way I didn't expect.

So I've written about have two foster daughters. Along with the girls come a mound of paperwork. But one set of forms ended up with me receiving the WIC vouchers that they qualify for. I thought that sounded great at first. I mean, it's a whole new bizarre thing I'd never dealt with before. The first time I took them into our grocery store, a young woman patiently explained how to use them. I had the girls with me and we talked a bit too about them. No big whoop. The next time the checker was a woman who mentioned that it had been seven years since she had to deal with WIC (meaning personally). I couldn't help but notice her very rotten front teeth, probably from drug use or just years of poverty. But then today, I went without the girls. The checker was an older man and he sort of took his time ringing the stuff up. Two men waited patiently behind me in line. A woman told them there was no waiting in another lane, and I found myself secretly wishing they would move on. I realized I was ashamed of being seen as using the WIC vouchers.

All the way home God talked to me about shame. The kind of shame I've honestly never lived with. I mean, I've had some things I wished no one would ever find out or things that I wish I could take back, but I thought for a moment what it would be like to be that checker who had all her teeth rotten only a few years out from depending on public assistance knowing that someone was judging her past every time she opened her mouth. What about my foster kids' mom who has to admit she got her kids taken away from her? What about all of the people living in the darkness of a past they can't get away from? Those people are all around us. Or they may be us at times. And it just broke my heart to think how oblivious I am to it most of the time.

This is the song that I pray for those who are living in shame. Our God is able. His grace is more than enough to shatter the darkness that holds people prisoner of their own sin and shame. His mercy is able to heal the broken hearts of those who are living in the shame of someone else's sin they were a victim of. He can break addictions. He can restore relationships. He can clean the deepest stains.

Guest Post on Swerve

2010-01-26T00:01:00.002-06:00

Hey go over and comment on my pastor's blog today. I got to write a guest post so I wrote about something I've been wrestling through here for the past year.

better

2010-01-24T15:15:00.000-06:00

When we first got our foster kids in December, even though we'd been warned about being overly idealistic and told all the horror stories, I have to admit I was secretly optimistic. I held this naive hope that somehow this time would be different. That we'd be able to build a relationship with their mom and lead her to Christ and get her life on track serving God and send them off to a godly home. I knew that was against all odds, but since my hope is in Christ and not in those odds anyway, I kept praying for that outcome.

Today we took our foster kids' mom to church with us at the campus that is closest to her house. She happily went with us as we checked her girls into their LifeKIDS rooms (neither one cried thank you Jesus). She accepted a Krispy Kreme and coffee. She sang along during the singing part. She filled in the visitor card when they said to. She listened and took notes during the message. She scraped together her change and money and gave "her tithe." She raised her hand and prayed along as the Campus Pastor led a prayer of salvation. She checked the box on her communication card for "recommitting her life to Christ." She picked up a What's Next Kit. She prayed with the volunteer that handed those out. She talked to the small groups pastor about getting into a women's group. We picked up the kids. We took her to lunch at McDonald's (thank God for indoor playgrounds) and took her back home. I just got off the phone with her because she called to see how they did and we talked all about the message and how much it spoke to her (We "Talked It Over" actually). She had already watched the DVD that came with her new Bible. She expressed her gratitude and receptiveness to us being a part of her life even after she gets her kids back. We now have a standing arrangement for every Sunday morning to repeat the whole thing again. So, naive? Maybe. But I'll take that any day of the week.

So now I guess I better explain the title. Pastor Craig said the word better about a hundred times. Because he was basically trying to make the point that we really don't live like we believe what God has for our lives is better than what the world has to offer. At one point he said, "Some of you are questioning, 'I'm not sure about all that.' But you are the ones who have never tried it. Those who have tried it know that it is better."

I'm here to testify that living life God's way is better. I few months ago, it would be hard to imagine that anything besides spending my Sundays in my pajamas with the only stress of the day being grocery shopping. I mean, that's why we go to church on Saturday evenings, so we don't have to do anything on Sundays. But getting up early, leaving two kids with a sitter, and schlepping two foster kids across town to spend all morning with their mom is better. It certainly doesn't add up on paper. But I know it for a fact. It is better.
Better. Better. Better...

This song, The Desert Song by Hillsong, was one of the songs to today's worship set. It WAY spoke to me and I had never heard it before. It ended like this:

"This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and Providence flow.
I know I'm filled to be emptied again. The seed I receive I will sow."

I pray that God will give you the courage and strength to turn your back on the world and pour your life out as an offering to Him. We're not there yet. Sometimes we feel tired and weary and discouraged. But even so, it is better.

The Day After

2010-01-23T22:21:00.000-06:00

So let's just say I thoroughly enjoyed lunch and dinner today. But let's also be clear that I paid for it (if you know what I mean!). I'm not exactly sick per se but my body just didn't know what hit it. It was also funny to come to the realization that although I missed the feeling of being full, I realized that honestly, it's not really a pleasant feeling.

Anyway, I'm going to continue with no sweets, no drinks but water and juice, and no meat. I consider that to be a pretty fair modernization of the fast Daniel did in chapter 10. I'm going through 37 days as a tithe of my year which a friend at work challenged me to do.

Thanks for the fun. Let's do it again sometime. Say, in 2011?

God is so good to me...

2010-01-22T00:10:00.002-06:00

But as for me, how good it is to be near God!
I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter,
and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.
Psalm 73:28 NLT

Today God has flooded me with His goodness. On my Day 21, when I was feeling like walking away from this blog for a while, two people came up to me, one I knew and one that I'd never met, and told me they had been blessed by my blog. Then I cam home and had a couple of Facebook message and a comment from others who God had really touched during this Daniel Fast. It was just such a blessing to hear that God is stirring others so much because, like I said yesterday, I'm diving in and want my friends to jump off the deep end with me. :) I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will make it a point to really start telling everyone about the wonderful things He does.

Day Twenty-one: I'm divin' in...

2010-01-21T00:01:00.001-06:00

The man brought me back to the entrance of the temple, and I saw water coming out from under the threshold of the temple...
As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep.
He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep.
He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist.
He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross.
He asked me, "Son of man, do you see this?"

We've made a big commitment to start off your year. Many of us have already accomplished things we've never attempted before. Some of us have come closer to God than we ever have before. But God is whispering. He's beckoning us to follow Him deeper still.

Ezekiel lived in the same time Daniel did, but his prophecies were from a different perspective. He saw the doom and gloom back in Jerusalem. He saw the vacant Temple. But in the last part of his book God showed Him a vision of a new Temple. One restored to a more glorious state than ever before. And the Glory of the Spirit of God was gushing from it like an unstoppable river.

No matter how deep you think you are now, let's all wade in deeper. Don't worry about what's going to get wet. Don't stop at the point where you can keep your feet underneath you. Get swept away. What are you holding on to? What are your hesitations to living a Spirit-led life of faith in 2010? What illusion of control are you clinging to? Money, possessions, family, comfort, convenience, food, career, each of us can add our hang-up to the list. But I'm done. I want to go all in. And I want my friends in with me. So let's just dive in.

Day Twenty: Fast or Feast

2010-01-20T22:02:00.000-06:00

So how many of you have considered extending your fast? Come on, I know some of you have! I've talked to my friend John about doing 36.5 days and tithing the year. Of course I talked about that last year and I ended up saying that I was going to just do the first three days each month and accomplish the same thing. I'm pretty sure I only made it to March. :) In Zechariah 7, the people are wondering if they should continue the fasting calendar they had kept and the Lord answers through Zechariah.

"...when you fasted and mourned in the summer and in early autumn, was it really for me that you were fasting? And even now in your holy festivals, aren’t you eating and drinking just to please yourselves?..."

Since Moses' time, God instituted a whole calendar of fasts and feasts. Both were designed to draw His people closer to Him. Get that? If you make seeking God and drawing closer to Him your goal for every day, both this time of fasting, and the feasting that may come in the upcoming days, can both be holy to the Lord. I want all of us to really seek out how this time has changed your relationship with God (and with food and other relationships). But then I want us to consider the ways that our times of feasting (not gluttony, but joyful appreciation of God's blessings) can draw us towards Him too. Here's another way I hope we're changed.

"Judge fairly, and show mercy and kindness to one another. Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and the poor. And do not scheme against each other."

Can we do this part too? Can we refocus our lives and hearts to pour ourselves out for them. Can we bring His mercy and kindness to the poor?

I love the way this fast has affected us, but I'd love the change to continue. I see no scriptural evidence that God has called us to fast every day. Jesus didn't do it, and God commanded feasts. So I have to believe that God is just excited about His love for us the day after your fast as today. When we wake up each day with a renewed focus on God and spreading His love, we can spend the rest of this year falling more in love with God each day, fast or feast.

Today I will pray that we will all take time to allow God to speak to us about our fasting experience and reflect on the ways it has influenced how we live.

Day Nineteen: Read Joel 2

2010-01-19T00:01:00.000-06:00

Can you get the mental picture Joel is drawing? Like the ants in the newest Indiana Jones, like the orcs in LOTR, like the rugrats in my living room? OK that last one only feels like it sometimes. :) The power of the advancing army of the Lord is rushing across our planet. When I see the church rising up around Haiti, I see a giant that can not only relieve the suffering there but keep right on marching and relieve it everywhere.

Did you ever do this in the wave pool? Instead of bobbing over each wave, you turn around and ride it into the shore. So will you turn and join the advancing army or let it sweep past you?

That is why the Lord says, "Turn to me now, while there is time. Give me your hearts. Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. Don’t tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He is eager to relent and not punish. Who knows? Perhaps he will give you a reprieve, sending you a blessing instead of this curse."

Tear your hearts instead. That just punches me int he gut. We've been fasting, but we can finish strong by making sure we are weeping and mourning and tearing our hearts wide open to allow His power and presence to sweep across the landscape of our lives. To lay ourselves bare before His mercy and compassion and unfailing love.

Jesus quoted Joel when He confirmed that the Day of the Lord had indeed come.

"...I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions. In those days I will pour out my Spirit even on servants—men and women alike. ...But everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved..."

We are still living in that Day. Pray and fast today seeking to be completely awash in His presence and power. Receive the outpouring of the Spirit into your life. Open your eyes to His dreams and visions. Tear your hearts wide open.

Day Eighteen: So close, and yet so far away...

2010-01-18T22:07:00.001-06:00

So I'm finally in the same work week that will be my 21 days. This has hands down been my most challenging day thus far. My foster kids saw their mom on Friday and the baby has cried a ton this weekend. Don't know if it's from the visit or because she doesn't feel good. I was also just really stressed out because of how much work I had to get done (which is hard to do when someone is crying). So the whole thing just digressed into a big crying meltdown. Brannon verbalized exactly how I felt as we were trying to get all five into bed, "If there were ever a time when I was going to just go get a Braum's Mix, or two even, or a Candy Bar Sundae, this would be it."

Of course you've all probably heard the phrase comfort food, but it's revealing to see how much that's actually true. I think I would have been able to hold it together so much better today if I could have just eaten the spaghetti and meatballs I made for my kids. It really sounds stupid when you see it in black and white, but food has an inappropriate hold on my psyche. The relationship I have with it is out of order.

I think most people would be quick to dismiss food as being an idol. But when I really stop and look at how it has affected me over time, I think it would be hard to just sweep it under the rug. I wonder if any of you have come to any similar realizations. Is food's place in the ranking of importance in your life in the spot you want it to be?

Today, I will pray for you. But honestly, mostly I've been praying for me. Praying for emotional strength that I do not have. For the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in how I treat my family. For this fast to actually reach the status of worship plan and simple, even when that worship causes me to identify other things that I worship more than I realize.

Day Seventeen: Peculiar

2010-01-17T00:01:00.000-06:00

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. 1 Peter 2:9-12

I learned this verse when I was a kid. In the version I learned it in, KJV, it uses the word peculiar. I like that word because it in our language, it also means weird. And like we've already established, fasting is weird. In this case though it means a possession. A people who belong to God alone. Don't you love being a part of a great big weird family that belongs to God? I've been amused by the complete randomness of the people who God has called to participate in this fast. We once were not a people, but now we are the people of God. So wonderful!

Another adjective for us that I like in this passage is holy. I think most people don't really have a good handle on what holy actually means. We usually use it in conjunction with Spirit or other mystical sounding things. But holy really just means set apart for a special purpose. For these 21 days, we have set ourselves apart for the special purpose of serving God by fasting. We have been hand-selected to worship Him in this way. I like to picture the word holy as that one flawless strawberry I choose to go on top of something as a garnish.

But then think of your role as a priest too. The one who was chosen to go stand before God. To speak to Him and to devote his whole life to serving in God in His house. I'd like us to really meditate on what kind of priest God really wants us to be. Not just a 21 day a year priest, but one who keeps himself pure, devotes his full attention to serving God, and is called upon to be a mediator between God and those we love that are lost in sin. Our High Priest, Jesus Christ, has modeled for us how to serve God this selflessly.

Anyway, today I will pray that we stand together as one big family. Chosen to show the world who He is. Walking out of darkness into His marvelous light. As aliens and strangers in this world. Set apart for His special purpose.

Day Sixteen: less than a week to go...

2010-01-16T00:01:00.001-06:00

Even though I only have less than a week to go, for some reason it seems to be getting harder not easier. I keep having thoughts like, "so what, just eat it." Or trying to mentally renegotiate the terms I set forth for myself at the beginning. Well, I'm not giving up. But I hope you guys know that having a big group of friends and making a public commitment online is just about the right level of accountability I require to be able to pull off a 21-day fast. :)

Anyway, I had a few great answered prayers just today. One, a friend of a friend who works for Compassion International was missing in the wreckage of a large hotel in Port au Prince. Miraculously, he was pulled from the rubble alive after three days with a French news crew on hand to record the miracle for his waiting family and friends! Also, today was our first visit with our foster girls' mom. It went better than we could have hoped for including permission from the case worker to allow us to supervise additional visits than the one per month they can schedule. That means that once a week we could get a chance to take her to church with us and she is eager to do it! Last, I got kudos from someone who is really hard to please! :)

Altogether, it has still been a rewarding experience. I'd love to hear some stories of other people's experience in the comments as we go through our last week. And don't worry, if you started later than me, I'd still love to hear your stories whenever it's YOUR day sixteen. :)

Day Fifteen: Haiti

2010-01-15T00:22:00.000-06:00

Last week over 100,000+ people died tragically. Last week, not just this week. I'm not talking about earthquakes. Projections show that around 25,000 people die every day from simple to fix causes like starvation, lack of clean drinking water, easily curable or preventable diseases like malaria. I have really been reflecting on the horrible tragedy in Haiti and praying for the people who are suffering there. But more than that, I've been reflecting on our response.

When we are confronted with those kinds of graphic images and vivid descriptions on every channel we turn to, we are moved into action. Prayer, generosity, involvement, compassion. When it all happens at once in one place where we can write a one-time check, we're in. But the truth is Compassion International, Children's Hunger Fund, Doctors Without Borders, Samaritan's Purse, and countless other organizations were already there. Because there were people suffering in Haiti last week too.

What can we do to respond to the suffering and hurting and dying every day, not just when it makes the news? How can we feel the plight of the lost and broken world at times when there aren't natural disasters? Why do we insulate our lives from feeling their pain? Why do we change the channel when the commercials with starving orphan babies covered in flies come on? What can we do to rescue the 100,000+ people who are going to die without Jesus next week?

I'm going to be perfectly honest and tell you that as recently as about a year and a half ago, I didn't care about foreign missions and compassion efforts. I would tell you I did since it's not only the Christian thing to say but also the good American citizen thing to say. But if you did an audit of my life, there would be no evidence whatsoever. So, after reading the little book The Treasure Principle, I decided to lead my heart there by sending my money there. The gateway drug for us was sponsoring kids through Compassion. Next we started sponsoring a missionary that we knew personally. Then we tagged on a monthly offering to Children's Hunger Fund (that one mainly to honor the impact Francis Chan's church has made on our hearts). And guess what? Jesus was right. Our heart was where our treasure was. We started praying, writing letters, reading more, and getting involved in other ways. And now look at us. We're completely addicted and strung out on foster kids. :)

The deal is, you have to put a name and face on the cause. You can't sit at home with the curtains drawn and care. We have two little girls to look at every day that remind us. And photos of little Burkinabe children by our beds. That has us messed up in the best possible way.

Lord, I pray that You will mess us up real good. Take our hearts out and drag them all through the lives that are lost and broken. Break our hearts for what breaks Yours. Let us feel an urgency to rescue lost souls every day, not just when we see their faces on the news. Open our eyes to the plight of those around us who desperately need You.

Day Fourteen: Strangely Dim

2010-01-14T22:27:00.000-06:00

Instead of writing about a chapter of the Bible or really even writing about fasting, I'd like to share the words of one of my very favorite hymns:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things on earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace

I don't know what things on earth are overshadowing you right now. Personal frustrations, illness, pain, broken relationships, loneliness, natural disasters where tens of thousands of lives are lost. The things of this world are heavy and horrible sometimes. But Jesus invites us to turn to Him. To look full into His face. Wouldn't you love those things that are weighing you down to fade away? Wouldn't you love for them to disappear? I don't know how it works in each case, but I have found this hymn to be true over and over in my life. If I turn away from the junk and turn toward Him, strangely, it does in fact grow dim.

I pray that you will focus fully on Him for these remaining days. I pray that you will see His unspeakably beautiful face. I pray that all the cares of this world that are pressing in on you or distracting you from following Him will fade away. That the light of His glory and grace will eclipse everything else.

Some other good blogs...

2010-01-14T10:51:00.000-06:00

A lady I've never met emailed me and said she had included this blog on her list of some good Christian blogs. If you're looking for some other kinds of reading, these blogs are great sources of personal development, professional training, leadership guidance, and sharing of thoughts and ideas, and just good old fashioned discipleship. So check them out and see if you'd like to add any to your reading list.

Day Thirteen: The Mixed Bag of Outcomes

2010-01-13T21:44:00.000-06:00

My friend Cathi wrote this today as an encouragement to the team she leads who are all fasting. I really thought she did a great job capturing the completely different experiences many people may be having with fasting. Even people who fast regularly get different outcomes each time so it should be expected. So without further ado, please read her thoughts:

One of the things I’m really sensing now, at the mid-point of this fast is the presence of the enemy and an increase in spiritual attack. Are you experiencing the same things? This is what Bill Bright, founder of Campus Crusade for Christ, had to say:

As you enter this time of heightened spiritual devotion, be aware that Satan will do everything he can to pull you away from your prayer and Bible reading time. When you feel the enemy trying to discourage you, immediately go to God in prayer and ask Him to strengthen your resolve in the face of difficulties and temptations. The enemy makes you a target because he knows that fasting is the most powerful of all Christian disciplines and that God may have something very special to show you as you wait upon Him and seek His face. Satan does not want you to grow in your faith, and will do anything from making you hungry and grumpy to bringing up trouble in your family or at work to stop you. Make prayer your shield against such attacks.

My encouragement to you, if you’re experiencing this, is that you’re not alone! Remember to bring all your defenses to bear, and “put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.” http://read.ly/Eph6.10.NIV

Also, I know that some of you are learning great things during your fast, and God is showing himself to you in new and fantastic ways – praise God for that! But I also know that some of you probably aren’t having an earthshaking experience, and I wanted to encourage you as well:

A renewed closeness with God and a greater sensitivity to spiritual things are usually the results of a fast. Do not be disappointed if you do not have a "mountaintop experience," as some do. Many people who have successfully completed extended fasts tell of feeling a nearness to God that they have never before known, but others who have honestly sought His face report no particular outward results at all. For others, their fast was physically, emotionally, and spiritually grueling, but they knew they had been called by God to fast, and they completed the fast unto Him as an act of worship; God honored that commitment.

My encouragement to you is to press into God even more, continue to practice your disciplines of prayer, worship, and time in scripture, and know that God is working in you, even if you don’t see it!

Day Twelve: So that just happened...

2010-01-12T21:31:00.001-06:00

So I just had the weirdest afternoon. It would take a long time to accurately describe our first experience with juvenile court. We did however get to see our foster kids' mom for the first time and talk briefly to the man who is being paternity tested to be the younger one's dad (although we think he'll check out from his looks). We were able to give him a photo of his daughter. Seemed like maybe the only one he had ever had.

Lots of other things were bizarre about this experience too. Mainly just sitting in a room full of people who we would never in any other circumstance rub shoulders with. After all of the years of pondering and griping and theorizing about the issues that plague our country and other heady stuff, today I finally felt like I was in the game. Getting my hands dirty way up to the elbow. Feeling the deep pain of the possibility that our girls will leave us for a home far less than ideal. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

You know I think the whole experience reminds me of verse after verse of my favorite chapter in the Bible. I hope you will all take time to read it straight through. Then I pray that you won't just listen to it, but you will do what it says. There are lots of actionable steps in it, for me the obvious one has been the last verse. Here's how it reads in my favorite version:

In God's eyes, the purest form of putting worship into practice is caring for single parents and displaced kids in their distress--getting your hands good and dirty, but keeping your heart clean. James 1:27 KGV

Lord, I pray that you will call all of us to get our hands dirty doing the work of worshiping You. I pray that in it all, we will keep our hearts pure. I pray that we will be a light in a dark world.

Day Eleven: The Halfway Point

2010-01-11T22:42:00.001-06:00

How are you doing? I've gotten messages from some who are struggling and some who are thriving. Of course I have a range of friends who are doing everything from just eliminating caffeine to those who are doing a full water fast. The biggest struggle for me is carving out additional time to get alone with God and pray. I was talking to my neighbor Hilda about it and she told me that she has had fasts in the past where you do far fewer days and go away somewhere like a retreat or something. I think that would be amazing. But I wonder if I would think it was really amazing if I was there. I wonder that because I have a secret. I really don't like to pray. I don't do it near as often as I should.

I think it's easy to excuse my terrible mental discipline by just saying I've got too much going on to pray more. That if this were a 3-day retreat instead of a 21-day deal I would take it more seriously. I'm the kind of pray-er that struggles to keep my mind on track and not drifting off into lists or ideas or whatever else. So I've made a realization during this fast. For me, praying silently doesn't really count. I mean, I will continue to pray silently to the degree that I already did in my life. Throughout the day, in meetings, at my desk, cooking, showering, brushing my teeth, laying in bed, and little bits like that. But when I really want to set aside chunks of time and pray, I'm going to have to get out of earshot of everyone else and do it out loud. I'm going to have to take Jesus up on that thing about getting into the closet.

This probably sounds like a total no-brainer to most of you. Duh. Maybe I'm the only one who prays silently almost all the time. But it's become a cop out in my prayer life and I'm going to have to stop it. So starting in the morning (or maybe tonight before I go to sleep) I'm going to pray out loud for a while each day.

So I hope you're not disappointed in my lack of spirituality. I do try to make up for being a pitiful pray-er by being a kick-butt worshiper and Bible reading fiend and serving as often as I'm asked. But I don't think God is buying that anymore. I think He wants me to just talk. I know I don't let my husband off the hook that easy. :)

Today I will pray that all of us will take our prayer up a notch. I pray that all of us will come clean with the obstacles, even mental ones, that we have put int he way of approaching God. I pray that we will take advantage of the stunning awesome offer of getting to have a conversation with the Creator of the universe. I pray that we will set our lives apart for His service.

Day Ten: Fasting Is Weird

2010-01-10T22:40:00.001-06:00

Dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.

I heart Romans. You can just close your eyes and point to a verse and open them up and get a tail-kicking. So much good stuff jam-packed into one letter. This opening line to chapter 12 is a really great perspective on what we are choosing to do. Setting aside what our body wants and seeking to nourish our spirits. It's an act of worship.

But the next verse is a great too. This weekend, one of the things my pastor preached about was being weird. He said he was more worried when people said he seemed normal than when people think he's weird. Not being like everyone else is a good sign you are living a transformed life. And in Romans 12:2, Paul puts it better than I ever could. (He was inspired by God though. So he had that going for him. Which is nice.) Fasting for 21 days is weird. If it were just a diet, it would be completely normal. But it's not.

I pray that this is only the first in a very long list of things that you do this year that are weird. I pray that you turn your back on the patterns of this world and allow God to transform you from the inside out. I pray that you get hooked on this closeness with God you are sharing and don't allow it to drift away after 21 days are over.

Day Nine: Fearless Trust in God

2010-01-09T01:06:00.000-06:00

In the NASB, a really great accurate translation for studying, Psalm 27 has the heading, A Psalm of Fearless Trust in God. How completely superbad is that? Fearless trust. Read it. The whole thing. It's written in the voice of someone with so much bold confidence, of one who is intimate with his Father.

I think a lot of us wish that we could live a life of fearless trust in God. But this psalm shows us the path to it. At my church, last week's message was called One Thing. Verse 4 was one of the places in the Bible that talks about one thing that was used in the message. Our pastor invited us all to seek God for what the one thing was we needed to focus on this year. And this, here in this verse is my one thing. And even though it straight up says "one thing," I think it's easy to miss. I think most people are going to find their one thing for sure, but to me, this psalm holds the key to THE one thing. To living a life of fearless trust in God.

In verse 8 David says, that the Lord invites us to seek His face. God doesn't just want a relationship with us where we always come to Him seeking something from Him. He wants us to seek Him. I'm not trying to contradict the very clear messages that God wants us to make our requests known to Him, to bring Him our burdens, to knock over and over, to cry out for help. But the one thing, the one thing above all, is to seek Him.

So often I think we seek His hand and not His face. As a loving Father, He must long for just the opposite. David, in this very psalm, brought His needs to God. But in the midst of it all, from the bottom of his heart, what he most wanted was to be intimately close to God. And that single-minded, whole-hearted devotion brings about fearless trust. Because at the point that you lose all sight of anything but His face, you can begin to come to terms with that miraculous mystery of His sovereignty gift-wrapped in love that results in the One Thing that is worthy of fearless trust. The One who made you.

Picture this. Imagine approaching a king intending to kiss Him on the hand. Now picture approaching a Father intending to kiss Him on the face. How much closer do you get? Close enough that He then wraps His arms around you and you get His hands too. With the hand, you kneel and take a position of unworthiness to beg for favor. With the face, you know you're welcome to come. You know you have access like that. You know He has granted you His favor.

Our God is both our King and our Father. He is capable of fabulously and overwhelmingly meeting our needs and answering our prayers. But He also loves us more deeply than we can ever really know. He wants us to come to Him. He wants us to know Him. He wants us to seek His face.

Father, I pray that You will beckon each of us during this fast to seek Your face. I pray that those of us who come to you will see you. I pray that we will have confidence that we will see Your goodness in the land of the living, not just when we truly see You face to face on that day. I thank You for hearing us, from never hiding Your face from us. Let us come to You with a fearless trust. Let us seek Your face and not just Your hand.

Day Eight: Getting Weary Yet?

2010-01-08T00:01:00.001-06:00

Today I got to see a big group of friends who are all fasting together. It was cool to see how they were doing all different kinds of fasts but the common thing was that they all seemed very encouraged spiritually. I hope you're all having a positive experience so far. You're more than a third through today!

It's honestly not that hard during a work day because I stay so busy that I don't worry about food. But today, my husband was badgering his friends on Twitter and Facebook by posting things about cheeseburgers and tacos and shakes and stuff. Great. Now I'm doing it too! Sorry. I'm not looking forward to the weekend because then I'm feeding my kids meals and snacks. It's really stupid how good a frozen pizza looks when you know good and well it tastes like cardboard on a normal day. Tonight my mother-in-las graciously made two different dinners for our family gathering: one that the kids would eat and one that was fruit and veg only. I actually really liked eating squash. It really makes me admire my friends who are doing juice, liquids, or water only fasts though.

I wonder how you are doing. I hope that if you have moments of weakness that you don't allow that to be an excuse for quitting altogether. Even if you slip up, you can still continue your fast for the rest of the time. 20 days out of a 21-day fast still ain't too shabby for a rookie. Using some of my quick teacher math from back in the day, you can actually mess up two days and still make an A- in my book. So hang in there. Get some help with creative food (or juice) options from others on the list on the Facebook event. But don't give up.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will eat a ham sandwich if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 KGV

Just kidding. I would like having my very own version of the Bible sometimes though, wouldn't you? Today I will pray for strength and resolve and faithfulness and clarity for all of you. I pray that this day will be a point of regathering your focus and really pressing in close to God. I pray that you will begin to see signs of a harvest in your life.

Day Seven: Broken and Poured Out

2010-01-07T22:48:00.002-06:00

Well for me, today will complete one week of my fast. And to be honest, I'm not really hungry all the time but more like empty. But recently I've been thinking that empty is how God really wants us. Let me show you what has led me to that conclusion and see if you end up in the same place.

A couple of months ago, I felt led to reread the accounts of Jesus’ last supper. Some Rob Bell quote I saw someone tweet about I think. In both Matthew’s and Mark’s versions, it lands in the same chapter as the woman anointing Jesus with perfume. This time when I read them, the parallels between her story and the last supper leaped off the pages.

The woman broke her jar and poured out all of her perfume. She poured out everything that was of value to her—both her past savings and her future earning potential. Breaking her jar effectively eliminated her option of being able to keep any for herself. Then or later. She gave everything she had—past, present, and future—to Him. Jesus said that people would remember her remarkable love forever.

Then at the last supper, those same words appeared again: He broke His body and poured out His blood for us. This time when I read Jesus saying, “Do this in remembrance of me,” I didn’t see him referring just to crackers and grape juice. I'm not trying to diminish the importance of communion, but that's not what it said to me this time. He was beckoning me to do what He was doing: to be broken and poured out. Go all in. Hold nothing in reserve. Completely relinquish control. That’s what would truly commemorate what Jesus did. Not cherishing a ritual, but being a memorial. To live my life broken and poured out.

I realized He’s been whispering this to me for some time. For years, my husband’s favorite verse has been from John 6. Jesus had just finished teaching, “Eat my flesh. Drink my blood. Live like I’m showing you.” Everyone left—except the Twelve. Verses 68-69 hold Peter’s profound response: “Where else would we go? You’re the Christ.”

So that’s it then. Although I’m still discovering what that looks like, now I have no other options. I must live broken and poured out. And I may be wrong, but I suspect that’s a calling that may apply to all of us.

What would “broken and poured out” look like in your life?

Day Six: 1 Chronicles 21

2010-01-06T00:01:00.002-06:00

This is a bizarre little chapter. First of all, it starts with King David being led astray by satan. He asks his general to count all of the fighting men in his kingdom. Joab is repulsed. He knows that God is always the deciding factor in a victory, not the number of men. To him it was an obvious and serious sin. Seeking definite knowledge of the exact size of your power, your limits, your worth. Needing a tangible definition of your value.

Man, we do this every day in all kinds of ways. We seek to know our exact limits: my credit limit, my square footage, my 401K balance, my Facebook friends, my salary, my weight, my reps, my distance, my (insert your number here).

God's ban on doing a census begs a questions I have to ask of myself. Exactly how much have I insulated myself from simply trusting that I am reliant on an unlimited God? Why do I need to know the numbers? Why do I rate myself with them? If the Creator of the universe knows me by name, would any number of online friends ever eclipse that? If my Daddy owns this planet, would any dollar figure outweigh my inheritance? How can I measure myself outside of Him? Why do I ever even try?

Then the chapter takes the story up a notch. God sends a prophet with message of a multiple choice punishment for the sin. To me, this is just zany. Seriously, stop and read it now. I can't make it any weirder than it already reads. "David, choose punishment A, B, or C for choosing to measure your worth outside of me." David wisely asks God to choose for him. God picked C: a plague.

Finally, it gets to the part of the story that really applies to you, me, and our fast. David goes to build an altar to make sacrifices to end the plague. A generous donor offers to give David the land, the materials, and even the animals to sacrifice. But David says something that I hope all of us can say each day of this fast. "I won't make a sacrifice to the Lord that costs me nothing."

Again today, I will build an altar and lay a sacrifice on it that I hope honors God. It will cost me my convenience, my comfort, and take some serious willpower and commitment. I'm glad I have my friends to worship God with me by fasting. Today I will pray that each one of you will build an altar and lay something on it that costs you something. I pray that all of us will turn away from trying to define ourselves outside of our relationship with our Father.

Day Five: Matthew 6:5-18

2010-01-05T21:54:00.000-06:00

Isn't fasting supposed to be a secret?

I had a long conversation with a friend last night who wondered why we were talking about fasting on Facebook and Twitter. "Aren't you supposed to not tell people?" she asked. Probably the second most famous mention of fasting in the Bible (after Jesus' 40-day water fast) is Jesus dissing the Pharisees about their public fasting. Go ahead and read it in context in Matthew 6. Jesus actually started this topic in verse 5 in regards to prayer so in some ways this is a bigger issue than talking about fasting. But yes, Jesus is clear that fasting is something we do for God, not to put on a holy show.

I guess I feel like when I talk to people in person and through social media I'm not trying to impress them. Not that I never do! :) But about this, I'm just seeking accountability and support and offering it to others. I also think the part about complaining or whining about it is a key point. Most of the people I have seen talk about it with a friend are excited about it and are sharing tips and asking questions, not lobbying for sympathy. At any rate, Jesus does warn us to make sure we are sharing for the right reasons. Not expecting a reward of pats on the back.

Another angle to this is that most fasts in the Bible were big corporate fasts, whole cities or nations. A king or other leader would call on everyone to fast together. Some instances even included livestock. So of course people knew about it! For many of us, this group fast will be a first step. You may feel led to fast regularly. I have a friend that fasts once a week and she never talks about it to anyone. The only reason I know she does it is that I'm around her enough to have put it together. To me, that's more the kind of situation Jesus is addressing in Matthew 6, trying to be holier than thou.

So like most things, the condition of your heart is the most important thing. When you're sharing your fasting experience with someone, ask yourself this: "Am I sharing this to encourage a fellow believer and get support? Or am I secretly hoping they will finally know what a great Christian I am?" Only two know the answer to those questions. You and God.

So before you tweet or post or chat or however else you network with friends, think of your loving Father watching you. Not just listening to what you say, but knowing your thoughts and intentions. This habit really has nothing to do with fasting though. That's what I wish I would remember before every time I say something!

Today I will pray for you that God will shine His light into the darkest places of our hearts and show us any wrong motives we may be harboring. I ask Him to flood us with His power and presence and speak loud and clear to all of us that are seeking direction from Him. I pray that God will send the right people into our paths to share our fasting experience with.

Day Four: Matthew 5:3-10

2010-01-04T00:01:00.097-06:00

A friend of mine commented on the 2010 Daniel Fast Facebook Event that verse 6 from this famous passage will be her focus verse for these three weeks. This little section of Jesus' teaching, the Sermon on the Mount, is called the Beatitudes. This comes from a Latin word for blessed or happy, but when I was a kid, I thought it came from Be-Attitudes. You know, like the attitudes we needed to be. And still, I think that's pretty close too.

We just finished a series at my church called The Blessed Life. God has used it to shake up my son and the rest of our family too. We are living the more blessed life Pastor Craig talked about. It isn't easy. It's pushing me to the edge of myself. It takes a partner the caliber of my husband to pull it off. But it is an absolute rush like no other. I mean, I'd jump out of a plane or off a bridge in a flash (if it weren't for these kids I'm responsible for), but living the blessed life is far more rewarding and fulfilling and exhilarating than the best thrill ride I could imagine (which in my world is surely at Cedar Point, still on my bucket list).

But what it has cost is coming to terms with this verse. To live hungry and thirsty for righteousness. For justice. To passionately pursue a pure walk with God. To be filled, really filled. And for a long time I must have only thought with my head and not my heart that I believed these Beatitudes were true, but now, I can tell you from daring to try a couple of them, that they are so true. So truly blessed that it makes me consider betting my life that all of them are true.

Am I willing to be poor? And all that that entails?
What about mourning? Will I face that?
And being humble? I guess it's better than being humbled.
Hunger and thirst? Check physically, but how far will I go spiritually.
Merciful, pure, working for peace? Those things sound nice.
But what about persecuted? Do I really believe that the blessings on the other side of persecution are truly worth picking a fight with the darkness? I mean, the next two verses say I should be happy about it. But honestly I don't think I know anything at all about what real persecution is like.

In 2010, I want to be even more blessed. I've gotten a little taste of it and my soul craves more like my body craves a cheeseburger. Jesus told us who the blessed were and that's who I will have to be. Poor in spirit, mourning, humble, hungry and thirsty for justice and righteousness, merciful, pure, working for peace, and last but not least, persecuted.

I will pray today that all of you who are starting off your year getting hungry and thirsty physically will be captivated by a hunger and thirst to be more blessed by God than you've ever been. I will ask God that we will all experience His great blessing here on this earth by pursuing the kind of life described in the Beatitudes. I pray that as we realize our need for food that we will realize our very real need for Him.

Day Three: Isaiah 58:6-12

2010-01-03T00:01:00.004-06:00

Last year during my Daniel Fast, I led a much smaller group of people through the book of Daniel since many wanted to learn more about the namesake of what they were doing. If you want to do that, you can read those posts from the Daniel Fast link on the right. But midway, I turned to this chapter and spent two days on it, just like today. Even though I like looking back and reading where I was then, I marvel at the changes God has made in me since that time.

When I read this passage again today, I am just brought to tears seeing the fabulous ways God has led me through 2009 because of starting my year off with a focused time of fasting. This closing paragraph from last year is not only what I still pray to see God do in my life this year, but also a testament to what I've seen Him do already in 2009:

Do we want our righteousness to go before us in a powerful, protective way? Do we want to know God's glory's got our back? Do we want to hear His clear answer when we call? Then we must do what it takes. Not just fast and go on about our own lives. We've got to pour out our lives as an offering to Him and do what He did when He walked the earth. Reach out to the poor, the sick, the suffering, the outcasts.

Today I will pray that God leads each and every one of us to the specific works God has prepared for us to do to care for the poor. As we experience physical hunger and discomfort, I ask that God will use it to permanently alter how we see those in the world that are lost and broken. I pray that God will use this time to empty us of all that is "us," and fill us with all that is Him.

Day Two: Isaiah 58:1-5

2010-01-02T00:01:00.028-06:00

I'd like you to stop and read Isaiah 58. It's my very favorite passage about fasting and we'll take two days to talk about it. This is a message from God through the prophet Isaiah to God's people of Israel who were frustrated with God's lack of response to their fasting. we can learn a lot from God's rant about what fasting's really about.

This chapter confronts a wrong mindset about fasting that I had to shake. If fasting is a religious act of piety to get God to do what we want, that's really just a passive aggressive hunger strike. We are not on a hunger strike. We are worshiping God. So we must worship Him on His terms. This chapter lays out what worshiping God through fasting should look like.

I think it's easy for us in such a food-centered society (face it, it's true) to quickly allow this time to become all about what we're not eating. There's no point in fasting as far as God is concerned if it's all about food. Unless it's all about God, you might as well not bother. That's not to say that we aren't all getting great health benefits from what we're doing. I mean, I don't know anyone who's fasting from veggies and fruit and healthy stuff. We're all fasting from less healthy stuff. But that's all really secondary to the real, powerful, supernatural, true fasting this chapter is talking about.

So let's commit to our fast with a true picture of what a fasting heart should look like. Let's make it a part of our worship to also lay aside the crankiness, the arguing, the strife, the temper, the self-centeredness, and any of the other behaviors that dishonor God. Let's make our fasting an act of pure worship on God's terms.

Today I will pray that God shows you clearly what HIS plans are for your fast, which may be different than your own goals. I pray that we will all be able to turn our focus away from what we're not eating and drinking and toward the next steps God will call us to take during this time.

Day One: Psalm 100

2010-01-01T12:51:00.006-06:00

If you aren't starting today on the first, just feel free to come to this post on the day you do start. I am really energized and looking forward to all that these weeks will mean and it led me to read this psalm.

Psalm 100 has been a favorite of mine since I was in an Episcopal school as a kid and we sang this as an opening prayer in chapel. These three weeks for me will be like walking closer to the throne room of God. Entering His courts. In the Old Testament, the people made a joyous parade to go up to the Temple together to worship on special holidays. They knew having God living among them was an honor to be cherished. Makes me wonder how I can cherish having the living Spirit of God in me on the scale of a parade every day. Today I want us to enter the gates of God's presence the way this Psalm says: with thankfulness, gladness, joy, and praise.

I will spend today praying for those of you who are doing this fast for the very first time. I will pray that you will start with strong resolve and will enter into the outer courts of God's presence with thankfulness, gladness, joy, and praise in your heart. Let's press in together and see what God has for us beyond His gates.

Mark 2

2009-12-31T22:36:00.000-06:00

What lengths would you go to to bring a friend to Christ? Would you haul a grown man up onto a roof, tear it apart tile by tile until you have a hole big enough to fit him through and lower him slowly down on ropes? I mean, I really never thought about how physically difficult that would be. And of course bizarre social behavior. That's not really something that would be within the range of normal. But they didn't care. They knew the power that Jesus represented and they did whatever it took to get their friend there.

I have always loved this story of friendship. But also the sassiness of Jesus who seeing the whole thing unfold with the mat and the shriveled legs and all and told the man his sins were forgiven. Isn't it an amazing reminder of hos God sees us. We are looking at the parts of our bodies that need fixing and He is still, as we were first told by Samuel, looking at our heart.

What a wonderful merciful Savior. Through this incredible roller coaster of a year He has always known what I needed most and it was so rarely what I was seeking. I thank Him for the great lengths He went to to bring me to Christ and I want so much to do the same for those in my life. I know in 2009 He sent me two little girls to bring to Jesus, but in this coming year, it will also involve a mother and only He knows who else. I want to witness Him calling out to the lost and broken like Levi and see them jump up, leave their sinful lifestyle, and follow Him without ever returning to their old ways.

OK, now to close out the year, how about that brain-wrenching illustration in verses 21 and 22? I mean, is He still talking about fasting? Or Pharisees? Or the law and grace? Or weddings? How I'm going to use it today is to encourage myself and everyone who reads this to leave the old stuff in the past and allow God to do something new this year with the new you. Let your past get old and brittle and shrivel up and whatever, but you, you move on with God and stay soft and moldable and ready to do whatever He brings your way. Don't drag anything along with you. Lay it all down at His feet, take His hand, and walk into your future. This is your new decade in Christ.

Luke 18

2009-12-30T22:16:00.000-06:00

This chapter is a prime example of why I'm going to change my Bible reading plan for 2010. In the past, I had tried to read the One Year Bible. I say tried because I had varying degrees of success from year to year. I did it in different versions and in 2008 in Chronoloigcal NLT which was my fave, but no matter what, I still felt like I was making reading God's Word into a checklist than my daily bread. I wasn't savoring the taste, I was just horking it down to get through it. Not at all the right relationship to have with it.

So in 2009, I started this blog as a way to try a new approach. I wanted to read less and meditate more. But I'm as lazy and undisciplined as the next guy so I needed some accountability. I decided that if I read a chapter a day and blogged about it, knowing that the handful of readers that knew it existed would be enough to hold me to it. And it has been wonderful. A great journey through the Word. Much less a business trip and much more a leisurely sightseeing tour.

But it's chapters like this that confirm I need to change again. Many times I've come to a chapter because I certain part comes to mind. Like in this chapter, I came because of the fasting quote that Jesus said about the Pharisee. And then what about bringing the babies to Jesus? I love love love that little vignette. And the blind man. And Jesus almost drawing the disciples a picture of what was about to happen and them still trying not to get it. So in 2010, I will for the most part, turn to "micro-blogging." I'll read much smaller sections. Maybe even a verse or phrase, and tweet about it. 140 characters or less. I think that will be a good writing exercise for me anyway since I lean towards long-winded. I'll write ere occasionally, but the feed on the right of this blog will be a way to keep up if you've managed to stay Twitter-free.

But for today? The part I will leave you with is the beginning of this chapter. The persistent widow. I am entering a 21 day time of fasting with a big group of friends. And because faith is generally my long suit, I tend to have the problem that I don't take my needs to God like I should because I trust things will just work out. But this week, through a friend who lost a baby at birth, a pastor I admire who is suffering with brain cancer, and a friend whose daughter is on her second round of siege against Hodgkin's, I realize how mandatory it is that we pray fervently, without ceasing, and in all of the other ways his words implore us to. I am getting so shaken and stirred to pray by all these things and so many more. To knock and knock and knock and never give up until our just God brings justice for His people who suffer for His name.

I'd love you to join me. Let's beat the door down on behalf of those we love that need a touch from Jesus.

Luke 4

2009-12-29T23:01:00.000-06:00

Forty days on nothing. Wow. Verse 2 saying he was hungry is an understatement for sure! I guess what I love though about Jesus fasting and praying like this is the power and clarity and confidence and anointing that He had immediately coming out of it. I know we would all be quick to say we'd love to walk so closely with God that we preached and prophesied boldly, healed the sick, cast our demons, and just knew that we knew what God wants us to do in every moment. We'd be quick to say it, but I really know of few that are willing to go through what He went thought to get it.

Yes, He's the Son of God. So it can be argued that He had quite an advantage, but Jesus came to call us to do what He did and live as He lived. On Friday, A bunch of friends and I are going to start a 21 day fast. People are doing all different kinds of fasts, mostly fruits and vegetables, juice, or some a list of things not to eat. All are wanting to walk closer to God.

I guess I didn't even have set as a goal for myself anything other than some big prayers answered and favor, clarity, and strength, but now after reading this, I want to see some demons cast out and some sick healed. I want to see God move in His church is unprecedented ways.

Come Lord Jesus, come. We open our hearts wide and rid ourselves of physical distractions. Stir us into action. Draw us into your will. Lead us not into temptation. And help us all remain faithful to our commitments.

Psalm 16

2009-12-28T23:36:00.001-06:00

Today in the grocery store, my son was drawn to the parade or ridiculous gossip on the covers of the tabloids. We've talked about tabloids before and why people write them and why people read them. This time he said something about how he honestly didn't even know who hardly any of the people on the covers are. What immediately struck me about that was how glad I was. He knows who Francis Chan and Andy Stanley are. People like Tripp Crosby, Tyler Stanton, and Jon Acuff are celebrities in his world. Craig Groeschel is a hero to him. I told him how incredibly thankful I was that he didn't know who any of those people are. This psalm has this line in it in the NLT:

The godly people in the land are my true heroes! I take pleasure in them!

I pray that this chapter continues to be characteristic of where I am with God. I pray that Kenny continues to take pleasure in the godly people in the land. And I pray that this joy and peace and hope is something that you find in Him too.

2 Thessalonians 1

2009-12-27T22:38:00.001-06:00

I am fasting with a group of friends on Facebook, some I know well and some I ave never met. But I came across this chapter and wanted to pray it over that group. So here's my prayer version of this chapter for my fast friends.

God our Father, thank for you this group of people that are committing to draw closer to You. Grant them all grace and peace through Jesus Christ. Let this fast be a time of flourishing for our faith. Let our love for one another grow, even for ones we don't know personally. God I ask you to strengthen us with endurance and faithfulness during this fast. Let the persecutions that may come and the physical hardships we may endure be something You are proud of. God use this persecution to show Your justice. Make us worthy of Your Kingdom, for which we are suffering.

Let us keep You and Your Kingdom in mind and not our own feelings. Provide rest for their souls Father, but let us feel comforted by knowing that someday we will rest forever in heaven with You when the Lord Jesus appears. Let us be strengthened by a vision of Your returning. Let us not be counted among those who refused to obey the Good News of our Lord Jesus. When You come on that day, I pray that You will receive glory from us, your Church, Your holy people. All of us who believe praise You Father!

I ask You Father to enable us to live a life worthy of Your call. Give us the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. Give us the power to complete this fast that You have prompted us to complete. Lord, we want to honor the name of our Lord Jesus because of the way we live.

This is all made possible because of the grace of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.

2 Corinthians 13

2009-12-26T21:48:00.000-06:00

When I was a kid, hands down the verse that was most memorable to me was the holy kiss part. I just always thought that was a funny mental picture thinking of the adults at the church I grew up in kissing each other instead of shaking hands and side-hugging. But now, the part that I am most struck with is a three word sentence that wraps up this lengthy letter.

Aim for perfection.

Or tougher still, the KJV just says, "Be perfect." I honestly don't think this is something the church holds as a value anymore. I get the feeling that if someone was really aiming to live a sinless life, they would be made fun of. Not persecuted by the world, but heckled by our brothers and sisters. Mainly because of the curve. When we have the mindset that God is some galactic professor (that's not what this chapter means by tests), we can easily (but wrongly) conclude that He might grade on the curve. So when some smarty-pants zealot aims for perfection, it kind of ruins it for the rest of us.

I saw that a lot this Christmas season even. We like everyone to just maintain the Santa status quo with the shopping and movies and binging and all that the world associates with it so that all of us can just relax. When someone starts blowing the whistle on what Christmas is really all about we quickly and heartily agree that it's about Jesus and then go right ahead and buy a ton more stuff that almost certainly was not on His birthday wish list.

I wonder what a perfection would look like when applied to celebrating the redeeming Lamb of God that left Heaven to become a helpless human infant would look like. I wonder how many compromises the season would contain. I wonder why we continue to cling to our traditions when we must know in the back of our minds what a counterfeit they must be to pure and holy worship of Someone who came to seek and save the lost. I don't think I did that great a job aiming for perfection this Christmas season. But I really want to next year. I don't want to wait until November to start aiming for perfection though. So you better study up, because I think I just might try and blow the curve. :)

Matthew 2

2009-12-25T17:05:00.001-06:00

So at 11p on Christmas Eve we found our family of 7 stuck in a snow drift only about 100 meters from Brannon's parents' house we had just left. After 4 men shoveled and pushed and froze we returned back to my in-law's with nothing we needed (except all of the kids' flannel Christmas jammies I packed for some reason). Brannon and I had no toothbrush, no change of clothes, and wet socks. I was tired and frustrated and weary after getting five kids down in the upper den on couches, blankets on the floor, and me in a recliner with our little foster baby squirming on my lap. I looked down at her in the dark and she looked back with a confused look of her face. I felt myself getting crankier by the minute.

Then it hit me. What if I was pregnant and in labor and with my young husband far from home in a barn? Hmm. Changed my perspective. The kids and I all prayed our goodnight prayers and then I asked God to help us all remember this particular Christmas fondly as one when we got a little glimpse into what it is like to be away from home on Christmas. Preston said he liked it that he and the other 3 older kids could be the animals. But we were missing one thing. The star.

When I was kid I was fascinated by the star. I went to a planetarium show that made an elaborate explanation about what the sky would have looked like at the time of Christ's birth and how the position of the planets could have been interpreted by those astronomer kings as a sign of a major event. I thought that was a nice story, but when you read Matthew's account here (the only gospel to share this story), I don't really see it as a planet or a special constellation. Like most of the other miracles in the Bible, they defy scientific analysis. And I'm OK with that.

Sometimes things don't fall neatly into the categories in our life we'd like them to. Like a white Christmas that stranded people but is still a part of His sovereign plan. Or a mysterious star that moves and rests over a house. But God is just awesome like that.

Luke 2

2009-12-24T00:35:00.000-06:00

After over 2000 years, there has never been better news than this. The story of Jesus' birth is truly the absolute most wonderful story of all time. Of course the culmination of His life, prophesied here by Simeon when he was only a week old, was awesome news too, but it was of course bittersweet because it was preceded by His brutal murder.

This evening I spent an hour with a group of 3 year olds (including our sweet Gabriella) telling them the wondrous story of Jesus' birth. They all listened attentively and interjected excitedly as we went through it. The odd details all seemed silly and funny to that crowd. A ling trip on a donkey. No hotel rooms to be found. A baby born in a barn. And laying Him in a feed trough on hay. We ended with a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday.

But just read it again. Even though you've read it before. It's just sounds too good to be true. To marvelous for words. He who dwells outside time and space who holds the universe in the span of His hand put on an Earth suit of flesh and entered our 3-D dimension so He could live among the object of His affection. Us. The God who spoke the worlds into existence wants so much for His love to reach us that He became one of us.

The fancy word for it is incarnation. But I don't think it suits the magnitude of the miracle of God becoming human. I hope you spend much of today just gripped by the enormity and majesty of it all. That you are distracted all day, that you have a hard time focusing on anything else, because you can't stop pondering it all. That's what Mary did. She treasured it all in her heart, She pondered what it all meant. She marveled at what was unfolding before her eyes. So just try to get there too. Meditate on it. Allow the anticipation of Christmas to enter into every minute of this truly miraculous wonderful "Eve."

Fasting Resource

2009-12-23T16:23:00.001-06:00

My pastor's assistant Sarah just put together a terrific document of fasting resources. I posted it to the Facebook event called Daniel Fast 2010. It's very thorough and drawn from sources like John Piper and Jentezen Franklin who kind of know a thing or two about fasting! :) Keep preparing your heart and inviting friends to join us on Facebook! The event is open so you can invite as many people as you like. I think we'll get over 100 before we start. My pastor has asked out whole staff to fast too! That will give me lots of good positive peer pressure to stick with it!

2 Corinthians 12

2009-12-23T00:01:00.000-06:00

For most of my life in almost everything I endeavor to be a part of, I have tried to be as competent as possible. I love to learn and think and just be good at what I do. Because of that, it has been pointed out to me by many though, that I'm not really a learner in the truest sense. I don't want to get competent at something. I want to be competent at it. I don't like the clumsy process of being a novice or just the appearance of being dumb. Besides the obvious issue of pride that that points to, it also begs the observation that I would tend to rely on my own strengths instead of God's.

For the past six years in particular, since I've been creating programming for my church, I have worked very hard to break all of that in me. I don't want the writing or the curriculum or the ministry to reflect my own competencies or my own strengths. I want it to be God's. So according this wonderful passage where Paul tells us that God's power is made perfect in our weaknesses, I now find myself having to make myself as weak as possible.

This process has recently led me to try to just be as broken and poured out as possible at all times. If there is any left of me at all to draw from, I will use it as a crutch. I need to be empty. Completely weak. Because the way I see the math, if I can manage to get my strength level to 0% (like when you lose a guy in a video game) then that means I've made room for 100% of God's power to flow through me.

Think of it as a dam with a floodgate. The farther back you open the doors, the more water comes gushing through. I want to be wide open. With no gates or dam at all. I want the river of God's power and presence to run wild and splashy all through my life. I want to be able to boast in the Lord and never of me just like Paul.

2 Corinthians 11

2009-12-22T00:01:00.000-06:00

So check out that list of Paul's sufferings! That's quite a distinguished list. I really don't know anyone personally who has endured that kind of suffering for the sake of the gospel. But I think we should start trying. Paul told us to follow his example as he follows Christ. When I look at Jesus and Paul, I can see the resemblance. When I look at Paul and me, not so much.

I mean I know I try, but in 2 Tim 3:12 he writes that everyone who wants to live a life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. I do want to live a life in Christ. So I want to up the ante until I'm operating at that threshold. I know it sounds stupid and reckless, but so is going back into a city that just left you for dead. So is getting lowered out of town in a basket because you've stirred stuff up so much.

So that's what I think we should shoot for. Just compare yourself to this every once in a while as a check-up. :)

2 Corinthians 10

2009-12-21T00:01:00.001-06:00

I really am struggling with where to start with this chapter. I mean, I read this chapter because I'm trying to go through and pick up the chapters in this book I hadn't done, but spiritually my heart is just a;ready so full from the events of this weekend.

I got to spend the day with my favorite cousins, the three Strange men and their families. Not to say that the rest of the family and friends that were there are sub-par, I just really connect with these because they are seeking God's face to a similar degree to how we are. So it's always just so refreshing to get to hang out with them. They are sweet, unassuming, funny, intelligent, and just every other adjective that makes a group of people good to know.

So in reading this chapter, it's unfortunate that I have nothing to say at all about all of the really great nuggets in this piece of Paul's letter except the last few words. ...the one the Lord commends. That's the one who is approved. Can you imagine a good picture of commendation? I think of a gallant war-worn soldier saluting his Commander in Chief getting a medal pinned to his chest. Would there be anything ever as glorious as that in all the world? To be commended by our Lord? Nothing compares. These precious people who I spent the day with, I can easily picture any one of them receiving such approval from their master. Such a Spirit-filled life they lead. Such a humble inspiration to others.

So that's all I can muster about this chapter for today. The one the Lord commends. I just want to be that one.

2 Corinthians 8

2009-12-20T23:17:00.001-06:00

This afternoon at a party for foster families hosted by New Covenant Methodist Church I spent about two hours choking back tears and trying to keep myself composed. Everywhere I looked I just kept catching glimpses of the face of Jesus in the crowd.

Before we even walked in with our five (three plus our two new foster daughters), we ran into the friend that invited us in the parking lot. There He was on her arm all snugged up in an infant carrier. The least of these. A little girl born addicted to meth, cocaine, Xanax, and some other drug I can't recall. Then He was there just inside the door. A whole swarm of volunteers warmly greeting us and scrambling to offer us full stockings and name tags instead of busying themselves on the Saturday before Christmas with shopping and errands. But what really floored me was the whole family that walked in behind us. A mom, a dad, and no I'm not kidding, six elementary-aged foster kids. Most with thick glasses on and all with clean clothes and contented smiles. He was a redhead who proudly showed me the Lego set he was given by some nameless unthanked church member. And in both the dad who gingerly wiped slobber off of a wheelchair-bound boy who could only respond by turning His head toward him and looking into his eyes. And the woman with a big healthy baby on her hip and another dangling from her legs. And an older woman signing to two little boys with cochlear implants over one ear. And a sweet woman who led us in some carols with Rudolph and Jingle Bells thrown in just to put the kids at ease.

Jesus was just everywhere. And it is making me tear up writing it now. His presence was just as tangible and thick as if we were moving through jell-o.

And the part that really shakes me when I then opened up the chapter I was already planning on doing today (I already did 2 Cor 7) is that this passage beckons us to live in a way that this party exemplified. That there be equality. That we realize that we are truly all in this together. As a body. So if we let our right leg get all shriveled up and weak from need, then we should feel it. But unless we allow ourselves to get chin-deep in the need and the pain and the poverty and the hurt, we won't feel it. And things like the 3,000 kids spending Christmas without a family to call their own in my county this year won't even break your heart because you won't know any of their faces. And until you look into their eyes, or those of a million others that are lost and broken, you'll never know the joy of seeing Jesus face to face on this side of heaven.

It's worth it though. He is unimaginably beautiful. He is awesome and majestic and glorious. I believe the Macedonians saw Him too. And it's more than enough reason to give sacrificially.

2 Corinthians 6

2009-12-19T00:01:00.001-06:00

Have you ever done something nice for someone or given somebody something that they then completely and totally squandered? I mean, it really meant something to you and then they just trashed it or left it sitting on a shelf and not ever really using it? What does that say of the value they placed on your gift? On the giver?

Starting right out of verse one, this is what Paul is saying to the Corinthians. Don't receive the gift of God's grace in vain. And yet, that is so often what we do. The res of this chapter draws a pretty clear picture of what it will look like when you live out God's grace and value it at the price that was paid for it.

The first paragraph describing it is titled Hardships in the version I read. I don't think hardships are really considered the thing to do in our culture. We typically avoid hard.

The last paragraph describes the acute difference there should be between how we live and how the world lives. Again, if you went house to house like a Ghost of Christmas Past peering through the walls in your neighborhood, could you spot the difference? I mean, cross decor aside, would there be the profound difference Paul is talking about here. I'm pretty sure that's a no.

So, like proverbs says a lot, consider your ways. If you can't quickly think of a way you are welcoming hardships and living like a freak, then don't go to bed tonight without committing to do something about it. Or better yet, don't go to bed tonight without actually doing something about it. Don't take the gift of God's grace in vain.

2 Corinthians 5

2009-12-18T00:01:00.000-06:00

Can you get in your mind a good mental picture of what compulsion looks like? I mean, think OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I have known a couple of people with this problem. This is a serious illness that can force people to do things that seem insane like repeatedly combing the fringe on a rug until every yarn is straight or washing their hands until they are raw and bleeding. So when I saw the word compel in verse 14 it stopped me dead in my tracks.

Christ's love compels us...

Are we living that way? Are we OCD about serving and worshiping our Father? I think that's what we should be. Behaving in a way that seems insane to an observer. Look at all the words in this chapter that communicate that sense of urgency: longing, groan, burdened, swallowed, persuade, committed, appeal, implore. I don't think we always behave like the new creations that we are. It says the old has gone, the new has come. But so many of us are walking through life dragging that corpse around with us.

Verse 15 clearly communicates what's been on my heart for this whole week. With far too few exceptions, I look around and see a world that is living for self instead of for Christ. I long to see a Church, to be a Church rather, that is God's ambassador of reconciliation. So I can do two things then I guess. Become OCD about praying for Christ's bride and be OCD about Christ's love.

2 Corinthians 3

2009-12-17T00:01:00.001-06:00

Two awesome analogies, one convicting action step.

First, the living letter. So beautiful and simple. Our lives should be a living testimony of God goodness and grace, letters of recommendation. The whole imagery of the ink and being written on our hearts is just so pretty. I want what's written about me to give glory to Him. I don't want my letter to be one of those disingenuous letters people write just to be nice when really they just want them to get a job anywhere away from them. I want it to be a breathtaking thriller book!

Second, Moses' face shining and covering it with a veil. So I don't have to tell you, someone's face glowing because they have been so close to God is spectacular. I mean, I've never seen any kind of visible manifestation of that degree. But what we have is better. I don't think we meditate on that near enough. I know I don't. I'd be crazy impressed if someone's face started glowing, but when I see living saints like Lacenda and Ray, the emergency temporary foster parents who have given homes to over 40 kids in 3 years, I want to respond to that degree. Their radiant and glorious spirits just shining God's love to the world.

So both of these have one underlying point which is in the last verse. The Lord is making us more and more like Him and changing us into His glorious image. He's making us look like Him. And until the day that people start confusing me with Jesus, then I'm still not yet quite Christ-like enough. But oh, what a glorious day that will be on the other side.

2 Corinthians 2

2009-12-16T00:01:00.001-06:00

Today two new little girls joined our family. We don't know how long they will stay. When I was visiting with our day care provider, an old friend I used to work with as a teacher, she said something that struck me as really profound. "Well, I'm just glad you can be loving parents to them. You know, not everyone can be a loving parent."

I always thought I would be filled with rage if anything bad ever happened to a child I loved. But as we are going through this process, God has really shown us that everyone involved is just broken. They are incapable of being a loving parent. They couldn't possibly know how or have the capacity for that kind of selflessness. Verses 5-11 just remind me that the only appropriate response for us as we get to know their mom later is just forgiveness.

More importantly, verse 11 reminds us that unforgiveness is an evil scheme of satan. It's not an option for us to even harbor bitterness in our hearts towards anyone involved. Forgiveness is the only way to deflect satan and keep him out of these relationships.

So now, as the end points out, our task is to be a sweet fragrance for the lost and broken in the world. To smell like Christ both to them and to God. To be aromatherapy for the hurt and helpless.

Luke 14

2009-12-15T00:01:00.001-06:00

Jesus throws down some hard stuff in this chapter. Putting yourself last. Inviting the ones who can't return the favor. And counting the cost. I am in the middle of many of those very tough places. Today at 10:30 am I will go to pick up two very battered little girls and try to help them feel welcome in our home.

Brannon and I have spent many hours counting the cost and even though I imagine it will still be a far more costly thing than we can imagine, we feel like we must go through with it anyway. I can't recall any other times in my life where I have done something this permanent. Even though we are just fostering and not adopting, it's permanent in the sense that we don't get to determine the end date and we have no way of even guessing how much and how long this will be.

I'm not going to lie, I feel really odd. I'm not scared. I have peace about it. But it's just such a huge patch of black emptiness in my future that I can't pencil in with my own plans. I just don't know how it will all turn out. It's kind of like free-falling in a way. Completely and blissfully out of control and in God's hands. I can't imagine any other way to live now though. I want to be His disciple and I see no other way but giving up everything I have (including control over my calendar) and jumping out into His arms.

Daniel Fast 2010

2009-12-14T22:03:00.003-06:00

Are you in for a wild spiritual roller coaster? Do you yearn to see God move in your life in unimaginable ways? Are you hungry for more of God in your life? Then starting off your decade with a 21-day Daniel Fast may be for you!

A Daniel Fast typically refers to a 21-day vegetable-based fast. Not only does the book of Daniel open up with Daniel and his three friends Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego committing to a veg-only diet, in chapter 10 he does a 3-week fast of no meat, no drink, and no lotions. Some people use these guidelines for their fast. The point is, to do something that causes a physical hardship that reminds you to devote time each day to fueling and feeding your spiritual hunger and thirst for God. If it's easy for you, it won't have the result you're going for. If it's so difficult you won't be able to function, you may start something that will feed into guilt when you compromise later.

A big point to consider too is that a fast is not a hunger strike. You aren't bargaining for God to answer your prayers because of an act of piety you are doing. A fast is also not a diet. I think for myself, I am going to have to commit not to weigh myself for the 21 days because last year it was hard not to get distracted by being more excited about dropping a few pounds than focusing on the spiritual benefits.

Last year, dozens of friends and I did a 21-day Daniel Fast. Although we all did things a little bit differently, all of us experienced God in tremendous ways. If you are interested in starting off your year with a Daniel Fast, you can join my group on Facebook (friend me if we're not friends yet) or you can just start a group with the people you already do life with.

Here on this site, I will be posting some daily devotionals and answering any questions that people have during the process. I'd love to know who's in, so if you're planning on participating this year, accept my Facebook event invite or comment here.

You can spend some time "counting the cost" before you commit, but I can bet that if God is tugging on you enough that you even showed up at this blog and read this post, then likely He is beckoning you to come get to know Him more deeply in this new decade, to allow God to reveal Himself to you in a way that's not so easy in our fast-paced culture. Take a risk and join us for what may be the best New Year's resolution you've ever made!

2 Corinthians 1

2009-12-14T00:01:00.001-06:00

I've been really convicted in the last few months about how comfortable we are. I mean not just my family, but our whole nation seems to have an entitlement mentality about comfort and convenience. When I walked out of the grocery store pushing a huge cart of a fantastic variety of food for my family it struck me what an incredible luxury that is. My first thought at the check-out was, "Shoot. I'm going to have to raise our grocery budget because I just can't seem to get through a week on the same amount as a year ago." But really, the convenience of many of the foods I buy: juice already squeezed and frozen on a tube, meat already ground and I never saw the dead animal or any other unsavory part, milk pasteurized and in a container (and I got the option of picking organic), produce we couldn't possibly grow here even if it was the right season, bread already baked, cereal ready to eat, every single item made quick and simple to prepare from the comfort of my own kitchen (with all the appliances I need to it without starting a fire or hauling ice or anything). Even people I know who are really struggling with a disease have doctors and hospitals and medications and all kinds of things designed to keep up comfortable.

Now I don't feel guilty about any of these things. But what I feel convicted about is not constantly giving thanks to God for the marvelous comfort He has provided. However, I think that in many ways, our comfort is not a path closer to God, but one leading away from Him. This chapter says God should be the source of our comfort and our hope should rest in Him alone. These comforts that come from our culture and materialistic economy are generally a distraction from that kind of close intimacy with God. As a matter of fact, in the second paragraph Paul says it was during such severe persecution he thought he was going to die that he was actually brought closer to God.

Think about this. When are you conscious of your need for air? Not when you're breathing comfortably. Until I mentioned it you were totally unaware of the air that is sustaining you right now. Your lungs draw it in unconsciously and your body processes it without any attention at all from you. But you desperately need it to survive. If your room filled with smoke or you were held underwater, you would be unable to think of little else.

For our spirits, made in His image, we desperately need the power and presence of His Spirit flowing in and through us for survival. He is the God of all comfort. For us to be constantly conscious and grateful for His breath that sustains us I think it's good to be held underwater every once in a while. I think it's possible to become so obsessed with God to be more constantly conscious of Him but typically, the path to get there involves a lot more hardships than most of us are eager to face.

Ephesians 5

2009-12-13T00:01:00.001-06:00

There sure are a lot of ways that imitating God. This chapter has a lot of them. Watching our mouths. Caring for our spouse. But even if you made a list you couldn't keep up with it all. I don't think we can do a very good job of imitating God without His power. But list or no list, it is pretty much summed up there in that first verse. Live a life of love.

I've got a lot on my mind this weekend. Lots of people that need lots of love. But I'm not going to be able to do it alone. Trying to imitate God is way too hard. It's going to take strength and character traits I don't even have. But He does.

Ephesians 4

2009-12-12T22:30:00.000-06:00

Live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

Man. He sure said something there. And that’s just the first line! This chapter is kind of hard to condense and process because it’s just completely full of profound one-liners. I mean, each one of these would make a great memory verse. Just lots of really good thoughts. But all of it sort of challenges me to just live out what we know is true. Stop living like anything else on earth really matters at all and just give all of my time, attention, resources, and energy to the only thing that matters.

Of all of the great verses in this chapter, which one speaks to you the most?

Genesis 12

2009-12-11T00:01:00.000-06:00

When you read the opening lines of this chapter it's easy to see why Abraham is known as the Father of our Faith. I mean, "Pick up and leave everything and move, but I'm not going to say where yet." And he did? That's some faith. Brannon and I have had moments that felt like that so many times. When God said for me to switch careers. When Gold Brannon to quit his job. And the one that happened today that led me to this chapter again, getting called upon to bring two battered little girls into our home. (But I'm not going say for how long yet.)

All of that seems brave, but there is another half to the chapter that's a little less flattering. How could Abraham have the kind of faith in God to move miles from home and yet not have the faith that God would protect his wife from harm? Sounds really dumb, but I think we're guilty too sometimes. Like having the faith to take in foster kids but not enough to provide for all your bills. Silly when you put it that way but it's pretty normal.

Well I'm sick of departmentalizing my trust in God. Either He's sovereign or he's not. I hope of any of you catch me acting like I have to cover for God's ineptitude that you just kick me in the shins. Our feeble plans are so goofy when we compare them to God's vast unlimited power. So seriously. Don't let me get away with it. And you might want to check yourself for any signs of it either because I might just give your shin a kick if I catch you. :)

Genesis 2

2009-12-10T09:03:00.000-06:00

The tree of the knowledge of good and evil has always eluded me. With a name like that, it seems so clear that it has to be representative of an abstract moral concept and not an actual tangible tree like with knowledge fruit growing on it where some fruits are good and some are evil. But then the whole talking snake and taking a bite parts seem so literal. I sometimes just really spin my wheels thinking about what the whole fall really means. How it played out literally. But honestly, most of the time I just don’t care. If it’s all 100% literal or all 100% allegorical, I really don’t care. The point is, it’s a great picture of the steps we all take when we choose to sin. We think we know better than God.

I’ve talked to my kids a lot about sin. We talk about how I think that really all sin is birthed out of selfishness. (I don’t think I ever use the word birthed with them actually.) God’s commands are to love HIM with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength and love others ahead of ourselves. That requires the exact opposite of selfish. So whether it ends up looking like cheating, lying, pride, rebellion, lust or any other sin you name, it still sounds a lot like selfishness. It’s a lot of us thinking we know better than God.

Think about the fall today. Not just this fall, but your falls. The times you choose the taste of sin over obedience to God. The times you exchange the truth for a lie. How does it still resemble this age old story?

2 Corinthians 9

2009-12-09T23:57:00.002-06:00

My pastor is preaching a series called The Blessed Life about being generous and where true blessings come from. Not only has it been a great message for my husband and me, it was also a spring board for some amazing conversations with my 12 year old son. A few weeks ago, someone spoke in his school chapel about a jar that was set out in the office to collect money to purchase Bibles for people in India. At the time, he felt like God wanted him to give $100 to that cause. He didn’t mention it to us or anyone else.

This weekend, even though he missed attending “big church” because of our schedule, I let him attend Church Online to hear Craig’s message. Then last night, he finally shared what was on his heart. He said he wasn’t sure if God really talked to him or not. After telling me about the India thing, I told him I was pretty certain that a thought like that would not have just come from him. That’s not really typical of a 12 year old boy. But he was just holding on so tightly in his heart to the money. He thought of how long he had saved it and how he’d only have $70 left. Could he really trust God to bless him more? Could he really be certain God would provide? Could he really place his security in God’s true riches?

After a really great conversation it came down to me reading him some scripture that Craig is using in the messages. He finally went to bed (this was all past bedtime) but emerged back from his room after about 10 minutes with tears running down his face. “God talked to me,” he said.

He said on his way back to bed he just asked God, “So if I give this money, how will I know you will bless me?” Right at that moment he slid under the covers and he said that was his answer. Earlier that evening, he had already forgotten, that my parents had brought by the kids’ Christmas present early. She had bought them some really amazing warm fuzzy sheets that they had been wanting and Brannon had already put them on their beds while they were showering and playing and not paying attention. He said when he felt those sheets, it hit him, “God blessed me with these. This is far more blessed than I even expected to be today.” He was just so certain of God’s presence at that moment that he decided to see what else He’d say.

So he asked another question, “How much should I give then? Should I give it all to my church or to the Bibles in India or how should I split it up?” He said he was thinking through the math when he had the thought that he’d like to split it between the two but give the Bible fund a little more than half. That’s when he heard God again. “$100 is a little more than half of how much you have and that’s how much I told you to give in the first place.”

So he asked another question, “When should I give it.” He had planned to put it off until Christmas (I think to see how much he got as gifts so he wouldn’t run his total down). He said the moment he asked though, he was already filled with such a joy and peace that he didn’t want to wait to give it at all and wanted to give it the next day. That was God’s third answer.

That’s when he got up sobbing telling us how God had not only spoken to him and answered his prayers but he now had an assurance that God indeed wanted him to be more blessed than he could imagine and only wanted him to trust him with what he had.

I tell this story in relation to this chapter because it was one Craig used a verse from and one we read together last night. The part about others giving thanks to God because of you is what really hit him. He had given thanks to God for sheets that my parents had given to him. But he received it as a blessing from God. And now he knows that when a little boy gets his first Bible for Christmas somewhere in India, they will thank God because of him. And he’s right. That is amazing. And it is truly the blessed life.

Galatians 4

2009-12-08T00:01:00.000-06:00

Imagine your child was captured and held in slavery. Imagine what lengths you would go to to free him. Imagine if after you gave everything to win their freedom, he sat there in the cage and opted not to come out. Crazy right?

That's the picture this chapter draws for me. God loves us so much He made us His sons and daughters. He sacrificed Jesus to pay our ransom. And yet so many Christians sit in a pile of broken shackles in a darkened cage of sin. Let's not do it. Not for one more day. Let's step out into the marvelous light of freedom and stop sinning.

I really don't think there's any scriptural evidence supporting Christians living in sin. I honestly don't think we have to do it. I get the whole living in a fallen world in a flesh suit thing, but the power of the risen Christ lives in me. I'm pretty sure that's strong enough to defeat the petty battles I have over pride and selfishness and impatience.

I don't want to work out in the sun like a slave when I own the whole farm. I don't think that's what Jesus died for. I'm ready to live free.

Galatians 3

2009-12-07T01:00:00.000-06:00

This is such s good clear reminder of where we all stand. By putting out faith in Christ, we can be right with God. We can be made righteous through faith alone and never by the laws we observe.

In the Jewish culture, even though Abraham is the father of their faith, Moses really gets more play. So it was important for them to understand that they were getting this opportunity at righteousness through a promise given to Abraham not the laws given to Moses. Abraham's faith, not Moses' law, was the predecessor of redemption.

Even though we're not Jewish and didn't grow up in those pre-Messiah days when the law was the only hope at cleanliness, we still live in a works-based culture. We teach everyone from all of our earliest memories how to get along in society by the rules we have to obey. Ordinances to observe. Cultural norms to adhere to. Even manners are a code of conduct. So how in all of this legislative world can we teach children (or adults for that matter) to comprehend grace? Here, here's a free gift you don't deserve, could not earn, could never pay for. Here's right-standing with God. How can people learn to accept such a lavish, exorbitant offer?

One of the greatest things we can do to share the gospel message in our world is to demonstrate undeserved grace. Love the unlovely. Give to those who can't repay. Share with those who have nothing to offer in return. I don't see near enough of that. Not even during the holidays. How can they ever see a glimmer of the hope found in Christ if we aren't living it out? We need to love the world like we know we will never run out.

Man. This takes me straight back to the Eucharist though. Living communion not just "taking" it. Living broken and poured out. Like Jesus did. And like the woman with the jar of perfume did that same evening. Break open the jar so that you have nothing to keep any for yourself in reserve. Let everything that you are, everything that God has created you to be, pour out over his head and pool up at his feet. That will show the world the power and purpose of His grace. That will show them what living as an heir to His promise is better than anything.

Galatians 2

2009-12-06T23:56:00.000-06:00

Paul talks a lot here about being a hypocrite about the law. Saying that we are saved by faith in God's grace through Christ but then judging others based on the law. This happens so much. I see Christians judging each other on stupid stuff like the music they listen to, tattoos, piercings, what they eat or don't eat, which words they use or won't use, whether or not they drink alcohol, how they spend their money, what kind of car they drive, whether or not they are green, just all kinds of stuff that has nothing at all to do with grace but everything to do with trying to get other people to live by your interpretation of the rules.

A great quote from Oswald Chambers, "Let God be as original in other people's lives as He is in yours." What this means to me is that even though there are some things God has convicted me of or that are hazards or temptations for me, that doesn't mean I need to demand that of others. Jesus doesn't need us to add any list of do's or don'ts to what He did on the cross. Whether Jew or Gentile, insider or outsider, new believer or decades into it, we all need to rely on grace alone for our relationship with God. Not the list of things we abstain from or adhere to.

Paul often attacks this as a poisonous danger to the gospel. I think it's interesting here that he goes through the trouble of listing all of the other apostles who back it. A heart that lives with the overflow of the Spirit, with the evidence he's going to list in chapter 5, just doesn't go along with judging or looking down on others who worship God with a different set of "rules" than we do. If you find yourself more characterized by the things you're against than the fruit of the Spirit, then I think you need the same face-to-face heart check Paul gave Peter.

Galatians 1

2009-12-05T00:23:00.001-06:00

A different Gospel. I'm very curious as to what exactly Paul is referring to. What was off? I've been talking a lot with friends recently who have noticed that the gospel we often hear preached here in the American church has mutated into something weaker. Not quite the pure DNA that we see at the end of the gospels and the very beginning of Acts. To the roots Paul is referring to here. Straight from the direct revelation from Jesus Himself.

So what's different about the 21st century version? Well, to some degree, our message has become sterile. Within the genetic code of the gospel is the message of grace through Christ. And we're pretty good about that part. But an inseparable piece is the command to go make disciples. To reproduce. To be fruitful and multiply. Many people are accepting grace through faith but are satisfied to be a big fat juicy grape dangling in the sun. Jesus commissioned us to be fruitful. But it seems our efforts aren't turning out fruit, we're cultivating seedless grapes. We're failing to make a part of our message the requirement to bear fruit.

And so we get fatter and riper. But you know what happens? The unharvested fruit falls off and gets rotten. Let's meditate on exactly how we can communicate the pure message of the gospel with it's power (freedom from sin through Christ's blood) and it's purpose (evangelism and discipleship). I'm seeking God to learn how I can make this integral in our programming and curriculum and planning. If you're not going to pray for what it means to you, please go ahead and at least pray for me then. :)

Psalm 146

2009-12-04T00:01:00.004-06:00

"If God is the Creator, what can't He do?" My son and I watched a Francis Chan video together yesterday, Always a good way to spend an hour. My pastor spoke today about being truly blessed. Put those two things together in my head and out comes this chapter as today's blog post.

Here's the deal. There's nothing else worth putting my hope in. All this stuff is such a mirage anyway. The house, the cars, the health, the friends, everything about our existence. Only one thing makes life blessed. Having an intimate relationship with the One who made us. Only the One who made us can give us purpose and fulfillment and peace.

So go on. Put your hope in your savings or your job or your family or your fitness or whatever else. But none of it will last. Read this chapter again and just be reminded of Who He Is.

2 Peter 3

2009-12-03T00:01:00.001-06:00

Again, as in every chapter, there's lots of good stuff here. But the line that stands out to me is "make every effort to be found spotless, blameless, and at peace with him."

I'm sitting here trying to think about someone who makes EVERY effort to live a perfectly holy life. I make a really good effort for a large percentage of most days. But to be sure, there are times when we just "let it all hang out" and give ourselves a little break for all of our hard work. I'm going to really pray about the distractions in my life that keep me from making every effort.

In Francis Chan's book Crazy Love he tells about his wife's grandma. She loves God so dearly that she indeed made every effort. He took her to a play once but could tell she really wasn't enjoying it at all. He asked her if there was anything wrong with the play. She said that this just really wasn't where she wanted to be found when Christ returned.

That's what this chapter is all about. How will you be found? Does your life mock God's promise to return for us? Will you be carried away by error? Will you be found spotless, blameless, and at peace with Him, or in some compromising condition that you will be ashamed of?

We don't know when Christ will return, but the days don't matter. Each one is of no more or less significance than a thousand years really. The only days that matter are today and That Day. How will you be found?

2 Peter 2

2009-12-02T23:31:00.001-06:00

Wow. Isn't verse 9 powerful? I mean, if all of those stories in the Bible are true, then God has a seriously air-tight case for being able to handle whatever comes up in our lives. Are we the righteous though? Am I like a Lot or Noah? Living a godly life among the condemned? Or am I using the sinners around me as the measuring stick to prove how good I am on my own? But nothing in this chapter is as pointed and convicting to me than the ending. Just read it again.

And when people escape from the wickedness of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and then get tangled up and enslaved by sin again, they are worse off than before. It would be better if they had never known the way to righteousness than to know it and then reject the command they were given to live a holy life. They prove the truth of this proverb: “A dog returns to its vomit.” And another says, “A washed pig returns to the mud.”

Whew. I need to lie down.

I mean seriously, do we structure our ministry efforts this way? No. We behave as if getting people to do a repeat-after-me sinner's prayer is the finish line. According to this they are now worse off than before if they are not led to live a holy life. We just inoculated them against a life of fullness in Christ. They now have just enough Jesus in their system to guarantee that they never actually catch Him.

Do we take seriously our entanglements with sin? No. We talk about how we are "working on our issues" instead of denouncing them and fleeing from any appearance of evil. We allow our souls that have been set free from sin at the cost of Jesus' precious blood to remain in slaver to sin. We just sigh and take another big swig of our own puke. We head out into the lost world day after day, preaching righteousness, covered in mud and wallowing in our own slop.

I didn't see this coming honestly. This is just a nice little chapter that had the heading of "False Teachers" in my Bible. I didn't duck so I just took Peter's left hook right across the jaw. This has some really serious repercussions though for a lot of how I live and operate. Is it saying the same thing to you or is it just me?

1 Peter 4

2009-12-01T00:01:00.000-06:00

Why do we keep walking through life avoiding suffering? Why are we surprised to see it coming? I mean, my life is nothing on the scale of many people I know. A close friend of mine spent her whole day at the side of a mother who heard doctors give her bad news after a risky surgery on her beautiful teenage daughter. My day was a walk in the park. But still, pushing through, living what we say we believe, is admittedly hard. And yet Peter puts it so plainly. It seems easy.

Be clear-minded and self-controlled so you can pray. Love each other deeply...

The other day my husband and I got in a big fight. (It's not him, it's me.) Anyway, after a long and arbitrary rant, he said, "I don't see how I can take action on any of that." So I broke it down into what I actually wanted from him. And what do you know? He has done it. It's been really nice. But it took some clear action steps not just theories.

That's what I think of this passage. There's a lot I can't understand. There's a lot that just sounds too difficult, but if it all rides on simple things like self-control, prayer, love and other basic things, I can at least wake up each day and try again. I can remember whose name I carry and represent it the best I can in each interaction. I can look to Him when suffering comes. I can commit myself to my Creator and continue to do good.

1 Peter 2

2009-11-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

I saw Rick Warren on TV today talking with some news person about his influence in religion and politics. He had a lot of wise things to say and I think represented the name of Christ he carries as a Christian well. One thing I see in this chapter though is quite a bit different than how many "right wing" Christians stand.

This chapter is very clear about how we are to represent Christ in this world. Not by being loud political activists, but by our character and submission to authority. I can understand how Pastor Warren's view, being such an influential leader, is that leadership carries a responsibility to speak out on behalf of those who have no voice. So I certainly am not criticizing his views or him as a person. However, I feel just as strongly that politics is not the arena we were called to influence the world. I get that the unborn are a huge group of people without a voice that need to be assisted. But we have been wielding all the political power we can muster for over 4 decades now, even through years of Republican majorities and pro-Life presidents and have still really gained no ground to rescue babies through legal means. But my friend Courtney, who meets with frightened mothers and provides them all the clothes and necessities they need to care for their babies has saved some. If we all just waded chest-deep, armed with the overflow of the power of the Holy Spirit, I can't imagine how many lives we would save. And yes, it is an unjust law. But so is slavery. And Peter doesn't encourage people to become activists, but for slaves to submit to authority. Totally tough to swallow.

Now I think it's very likely that many people's call to serve God will include causes like modern abolition and many other world issues that are a symptom of people's need for Christ. But I hardly think that governments who can't even manage to pay their own bills are the means to the end we are seeking. Act justly. Love mercy. And walk humbly with your God. The same as God spoke through Micah, He speaks again here. Let your increasing character, your call to holiness, and your respectful submission to authorities be your voice.

Oh, and meditate today on that opening line, "now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." Have you? He so is.

1 Peter 1

2009-11-29T00:01:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure my life would be characterized by the gladness, hope, and inexpressible joy that this chapter refers to. I mean, I certainly have long bouts of it, but just as often, I find myself in slumps of irritability, discontent, and despair. What about you?

Regardless of what all of the Christians you know may demonstrate, Peter here, who is certainly a expert on the subject, is describing a different Christianity than is prevalent today. I guess I can't speak for the Church globally, but the slice I see isn't really what I'd call joyful.

So what can we do about that? Well, someone I love who I talked about this kind of joy and peace and hope with today just asked me to pray. That is certainly the best option. But will I do it? I think a previous version of me wouldn't have. But today, I will. I will pray for hope and gladness and inexpressible joy to characterize the body of Christ in the only way that makes any sense.

Matthew 19

2009-11-28T00:01:00.000-06:00

We just finished the last of our Christmas decorations. Although, I've got to admit, it was fairly painless because my 12 year old is big enough to help get stuff in and out of the attic and we really didn't put much up. We threw two net lights over our two biggest bushes. We put a wreath, stockings, nativity set, and Christmas children's books on our mantel. We put up three thin trees in small, medium, and large--one for each kid. We listened to Christmas CDs--A LifeChurch one and my childhood fave, Elvis. And, as is expected of three kids, we started our talk about presents.

In our family we don't really do presents. We put stuff in the kids' stockings and do a scavenger hunt with clues for them to find them. We get other people presents who we know will get us something, but that's it. And for the last couple of years, we have gotten things that support a charity of some kind. But to get right to it, our philosophy is built around this creed, "It's not our birthday."

I am very saddened by what Christmas has become. It makes me sad to see what a hollow counterfeit our celebrations are. I don't imagine any of the gifts purchased on Black Friday for Jesus' birthday were things that were on His wish list. Even the warm feelings, good cheer, generosity, and year-end-tax-write-off giving really honor Him too much. When I see Jesus here talking about divorce and saying basically, "Well God had to lower His standards for you because your hearts were do hard," I think that's probably similar to how He puts up with our Christmas celebrations.

I don't know about you, but when I picture the children that Jesus welcomed into His lap, it isn't curly haired cherubs with clean shining faces and well-pressed outfits. It's the kids staring at me from the photos of unsponsored needy kids from the letter I just opened from Compassion International.

The Bible has an awful lot to say to rich people in the New Testament, and it's not particularly flattering. I mean just this camel/needle thing here is enough to make someone never want to be listed as rich I would think. And then when I read the passage about the rich young ruler, it's no wonder we deny we're really rich. In almost every case I see of someone writing about this, they include the caviat that not everyone is called to give everything, just this particular guy. But if you continue to the ending with this disciples, that's not the impression it gives me. "But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first."

I think I must not really believe this. If I did, how would my life be different? My home? My budget? My schedule? My Christmas celebrations? I know it's painfully convicting, but it says right here in this chapter that it is going to be hard and that there's a lot to give up. More than once. I've already made so many steps towards this like downsizing our home (but it's still comfortable and spacious), not wasting money on interest to debt (but we still have two nice cars), taking in a foster child (but there are 3,000 more in shelters in my county alone).

I guess all I have left to say today is this. Just make this season about Jesus' birthday. Whatever that means. As much change and awkwardness as you can stand. As many uncomfortable conversations with family as you can take. Do as much as you possibly can to make this season the way He would like it to be.

Deuteronomy 11

2009-11-27T01:00:00.001-06:00

I have seen so many more times that God has provided and been faithful and demonstrated His power than my kids. So how can I begin to share those stories with my kids? I guess like anything, I can just start now.

Today I had to take some time out with my kids and address some serious conflict that they have been having. I learned a while back in a Family ID workshop that you have to treat sibling fighting as seriously as if they had set fire to the house. So, my older son Kenny and I put on a little demonstration for them. We went through Colossians 3:12-14 and Kenny acted it out. First he came out of the my closet wearing just his boxer briefs. We talked about how we would never go out of the house like that, but we often do the same thing spiritually. Then he went in and came back out with a sun dress on. This represented tenderhearted mercy. We talked about what that means. He added a sweater for kindness, a cardigan for humility, a robe for gentleness and shoes for patience. Then he put a belt on over it for love (which binds us all together). I took a video of him acting it out while I read the verse but he made me promise not to post it on the internet.

In our culture we put so much ahead of our relationship with God. With our kids school often comes first. Then sports. Then dance or cheer. Then friends and social engagements. Then enrichment experiences. We communicate the value of those things to our kids by our investment and attendance at those things. Many parents I know would never miss a single game in the season or school assembly or recital. But we drop them off at church and may not even bother to follow up with how things are going there. Oh yeah, and if were tired or there's a lot of laundry to do or homework or a practice, we let them ditch church. That's pretty clear.

I want the messages I send my kids to line up with the values I say I believe in. If I am to put God first above all else and obedience to living life led by the Spirit, then I have to make sure the things our family participates in back that up. Do your activities communicate your values? Does your calendar line up with your stated beliefs? This chapter, and many others like it, challenge me to make every moment with my kids an opportunity to share what God means in my life.

Nehemiah 12

2009-11-26T00:01:00.003-06:00

Now that's what I call Thanksgiving! Seriously, just think about this today: What would happen if the Church in your country celebrated and honored God and gave thanks with this much fanfare and production? I think the Hebrew version Nehemiah and crew came up with was a lot more God-honoring than holing up with your family with turkey and sports on TV and shopping plans.

It's too late this year to pull off any kind of decent Thanksgiving parade like this (Macy's doesn't count), but seek God about how He'd really like to be thanked. Maybe this day will be the most thankful Thanksgiving you've ever had. I'm going to start praying right now for mine to be anyway. This chapter's Thanksgiving just puts us all to shame. :)

So don't have a happy Thanksgiving, try to have a holy one instead. :)

Deuteronomy 30

2009-11-25T01:00:00.001-06:00

Let's just say that behind my back I told you I had something you had to eat. Contrived scenario of course, but just pretend you're on Fear Factor or something. I in one hand I had a plate full of pecan pie and in the other hand I had a bowl of manure. And I clearly told you what was in each hand. You'd choose the pie right? No brainer.

So what if someone did go ahead and pick the poo? What possible reasons could a person have for making such an obviously poor choice? Well, I guess they could prefer the taste of poo to the pie. But I think that would only hold up if the person had never tasted pecan pie before because it is unquestionably delicious. The only other possible reason would be if you thought I was lying to you. That I was holding out on you somehow.

I think it's the second option that causes us to choose death one generation after another. We think God's got it all wrong and that the "death" hand is the one we really want. Physical pleasure, instant gratification, selfish satisfaction. We think that's the good hand when really it's the poo. We think that it's the better of the two options only because we've never really tasted the peace, joy, love, mercy, power, and fulfillment found only in Christ.

But God was clear what the two options are. Life and death. A blessed life or a cursed life. So why are we sitting here chewing on turds when we could be enjoying the best desert ever?

Hebrews 13

2009-11-24T01:00:00.003-06:00

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

This whole chapter is a bit random because that was the letter-writing style back then. In your close, you just threw out everything that you wanted to say but didn't really get to I guess. It's funny that he said it was a short letter. Imagine someone writing you a letter that long nowadays! Although there are lots of great gems in the chapter, the one that I really want to write about is verse 7.

I have a tremendous leader in my life. My pastor is such a fantastic boss, speaker, father, husband, and just all around great man of God. Last week, my son and I were watching church online and discussing the message and I saw Craig and my friend Tony in a short video about the message. I said something silly like, "Aw! Look, how sweet!" since I like them each a lot and was glad to see them together. My son said, "That's not what I would call him!" "What would you call him then?"

"Awesome."

I cannot possibly communicate how grateful I am that I have someone in my life that when I consider the outcome of his ways, I find a terrific model for my son to imitate. I mean, being a great leader to me is one thing, but having that kind of godly role model in my son's life is an unspeakable blessing.

I hope that you have that kind of quality Christian example in your life. And if you don't, I think maybe you're not living as closely as you should in and among an active community of believers. It doesn't have to be a pastor of a big church or someone famous, it just has to be someone whose "outcome of their ways" matches the Word of God we say we believe.

Another challenge to all of us though: Be this. Live this out. People are watching. Speak the word of truth into people's lives and show them a life worth imitating. I met many such people this weekend and i know I will continue to meet many more as the Church continues to be the beautiful lamp stand we were created to be.

Hebrews 8

2009-11-23T00:01:00.001-06:00

I will be their God,
and they will be my people.

There's really not any better promise. God loves me and wants to be mine. God loves me and want me to be His. The Creator of all things wanted so much for me to experience this promise that He made a way by sacrificing His One and Only Son. This sounds too good to be true. If I really believed this though, wouldn't I tell people about it more than I do? What would it look like for you?

Hebrews 7

2009-11-22T00:01:00.001-06:00

OK so all about priests then. Not my idea of a favorite chapter. But I guess the main beauty of Paul's point (to an audience who was all about priests) is the picture of Jesus it painted for them. I mean think about it. Every part of the whole priesthood system has Jesus written all over it. Not only is He our High Priest, our go-between that makes us right with God, but He's also the sacrifice itself. He is the Tabernacle by being God's vehicle for living among us. All of the details that would have been so real and tangible for a Hebrew audience may not mean that much for us today. But this role of Jesus is an important one to embrace still I think. Read it for yourself and see what God shows you about Jesus through this letter.

2 Peter 1

2009-11-21T00:01:00.003-06:00

I know I already wrote about this chapter and I'm supposed to be going through Hebrews but, as a new friend on Twitter said, "Francis Chan just ripped my face off. Someone tell God I get it so He can stop the 2x4 beating."

But I really want to share a math equation he broke down for us out of this chapter. First of all he said that if you work towards success instead of character, you'll end up with neither. Bam. That hurt.

Next the broke down verses 5-9 like this. First make every effort to add to your faith:
+ Faith
+ Goodness
+ Knowledge
+ Self-control
+ Perseverance
+ Godliness
+ Brotherly kindness
+ Love
= effectiveness, fruitfulness, and success.

Gotta go worship now. Shane and Shane are on. :)

Hebrews 6

2009-11-21T00:01:00.002-06:00

So my summary of this chapter is this:

Look, you guys already know everything you need to know. So consider in yourself if you've really tasted the real deal infilling of the Holy Spirit. If you have, then we should see you producing a harvest. That foundation if God's truth has rained on it all it needs to. We've seen you show signs of maturity, but don't back off now. Continue to press towards God and inherit what He's promised you. Put your faith in Jesus Christ who became the bridge between you and God.

By the way, I'm having an AWESOME time with God here in ATL at the Youth Specialties conference. I met 3 people today who I know I was ordained to meet. I have prayed for their influence in our student ministry but of course I didn't know it would be answered in the form of these guys. You can pray for that too.

Hebrews 3

2009-11-20T21:40:00.000-06:00

Today. I wonder how many times in a day I say that word. And yet here in this chapter, we are reminded of the immediacy, the urgency of really remembering how we must seize it. We are responsible to each other. I for one don't like that thought. I can barely be responsible for myself let alone others. But each day, while it's still called Today, we are responsible for keeping our brothers and sisters from falling away into sin. And I'm not sure we're all that hot at it.

Just today I heard a few stories of people who are being led astray, deceived, tempted into unbelief, hardened. And we are supposed to encourage them DAILY. I think we may have created a societal norm that prevents that from being very easy. We aren't used to prying into other people's business. But I think that's what the Holy Spirit is saying here. Today, don't harden your hearts to those around you. Don't rebel against your responsibility to lift other up. Makes me think of Forrest and all those other war movies where you never leave a man behind. I'm afraid we have some lost and wounded and stranded soldiers laying out there on the battlefield that we have to go out and help.

But the toughest part of that is that he specifically said to do it TODAY! Who can I reach out and encourage today?

Hebrews 2

2009-11-19T21:59:00.000-06:00

You know, I can't remember back to a time when I didn't know about Jesus. But reading this chapter makes me just awestruck realizing the incredible story of who Jesus, the man, the Son of God, really is. I mean, just imagine if you had never heard of Him. Of His story. Of the prophecies. Of the miracles. Of the love. Of the offer of grace. And then someone explained who He is as simply and completely as this writer does here (many assume Paul but I categorize it with other letters since it doesn't say).

He is amazing. He is incomparable. He sounds too good to be true. But He's so fantastically true.

I talked to a friend tonight that just did the messages for SWITCH (our youth experience) this month. He presented the evidence for God the Creator, then the Bible itself, and this week Jesus the Son of God. He said tonight's was his favorite. He had this huge glowing smile when he said it. Jesus. And that's the only response that makes sense. Just a joy and a gratitude and a wonderful rapturous peace.

Sometimes I wish I could experience this wonder of hearing the story of Jesus for the very first time. Of really knowing Him for the first time. But then I think of heaven and what the angels get to see. I can't imagine that. That day is certainly one I look forward to.

Romans 15

2009-11-18T23:14:00.001-06:00

As fabulous and grand as Paul's calling was, I love it that he was still clear on what it was not. He was called to be an evangelist to the Gentiles. And because he was clear on why God put him on this planet, he was able to accept gracefully some things that might otherwise be frustrating for him. I was talking to a friend today who also works at my church. We thought about how easy it is to assume that our role at our church equals our calling and purpose. For me, I think it's easy to see the correlation, but for her, she needed to get clarity on what it really was because it was obvious that her current role wasn't it. Now that doesn't mean she should quit and move on, that just means that she is not confined or defined by her job. Maybe there is a whole big purpose and plan that she will eave to go do, but maybe it's something here for her to do while she continues to labor at our church.

I just think it's wonderful to serve a God who has such big and yet such detailed plans for us. I love it that if we truly find our hope in Christ and our provision from our Father and our guidance and comfort from the Holy Spirit then we should lack no good thing. All those centuries ago when those prophecies in this chapter were written, He knew me, a lowly Gentile, and thought fondly of me and smiled and continued right on with His grand mission to redeem the world. And He wrote a part for me to play in His story.

Romans 13

2009-11-17T21:53:00.000-06:00

Although I really love Philippians and James chapter one, if I were ever stranded on the proverbial island with only one book of the Bible to read, I would have to say I would choose Romans. One of the gospels would be a tempting choice, but Romans just gives me so much to chew on with every paragraph.

I mean this authority passage is a great one to teach to kids and teenagers. But when I see a police car in my rear view mirror, my heartbeat quickens and I instinctively hit the brake. I'm every bit as bad as kids can be.

But of course the big thing God is dealing with me over the past few weeks is in the second half. God's love. I can't get away from it. Not that I would try. I just mean, everywhere I turn God is waving His big untameable unlimited, unstoppable love right in my face. It started with a fresh look at 1 Corinthians 13 and now, every chapter I read us all about love.

Some of you know I am out of debt financially. And pretty often I get out of debt work-wise, like today when I caught up on all of my deadlines and got a day ahead. And the endless parade of DHS foster paperwork? I've finally completed all of that and we sign off on Wednesday. (woot!)

But love? I can't get away from it. That is the debt that I will owe with every breath I draw for the rest of eternity. It's odd too the urgency that Paul expresses about it all starting in verse 11. I just don't think I've ever felt that before recently. I've known about my debt to love but I've never felt an urgency to pay it. Over and over and over. But I'm just beginning to. And I am learning to live in love. And it's kind of weird, I'm not going to lie. But I can't wait to see how it all unfolds.

Romans 11

2009-11-16T21:58:00.001-06:00

This chapter is full of really good stuff. All about God's mercy and our standing with God through grace. In verse 22 though, I am struck with conviction. It tells us to behold, or consider, both God's kindness and His severity. I know there are people who go around feeling constantly fearful of God and view Him as an abusive Father so to those people of course focus on the kindness part. But to be honest, most of the Christians I know are far from fearful. We are much more like spoiled children who flaunt their parents' good graces in public and do naughty things they are certain they can get away with and then try to flirt their way into not getting punished. Most of us really never consider His severity.

In that song I linked a few days ago, What Do I Know of Holy by Addison Road, it has a line that says, "I think I made you too small. I didn't fear you at all." We've made God too small. We compartmentalize His unfathomable powers and reduce Him to our genie in a bottle. So, when all we've got is this little pocket Jesus who we pull out and unfold when we need Him, we also then tend not to fear Him at all.

A friend of mine was laughing the other day about her husband who had decided to do some amateur electric work on his own bathroom. Without turning off the power. He decided he could get things started before the electricians got there and just be careful. Before long, the power in their whole bathroom had gone out, and not just a flipped breaker. It didn't come back on. He forgot what he was dealing with. He took too lightly the power of the electricity. Sure it's a wonderful convenience for heat and light and other great things, but don't kid yourself, its force can set your house on fire and stop your heart. You can't have one without the other.

And we can't have a God that is just kind without also being severely inconceivably fearsome. What good would that be anyway? I heard Steven Furtick talk about the little prayer we were taught as kids that started with, "God is great, God is good." His point was that if both weren't true, then He wasn't much of a God worth serving. So today, (After you read Romans 11 that is. You're supposed to read it yourself you know if you want to follow along with me. God will likely say something very different to you about it anyway.) let's meditate a bit on God's severity, His sternness, the magnitude of His awesome power. I, for one, could use the refresher.

Romans 9

2009-11-15T00:01:00.000-06:00

Has anyone else ever struggled with this besides me? I mean, God picking and choosing. Hardening Pharaoh's heart, creating him, and using him as the bad guy in His big story? Loving Jacob and hating Esau?

But then there's that whole potter and clay thing. Of course that makes absolute perfect sense when you say it like that. It's not a roll of the dice, it's calculated. It's not chance, it's a massive galactic orchestrated demonstration of His glory.

I just want to play a role in it. I'll be a pawn. I just want to give my whole life to it. Everything He gave me I give him right back. I want to live every moment poured out.

Romans 7

2009-11-14T00:46:00.005-06:00

So a couple of weeks ago my 12 year old son got really really frustrated with himself. He basically allows himself to get completely sucked on to certain kinds of entertainment that he completely loses any ability to make coherent decisions. On this particular occasion, he had just blown $40 at Incredible Pizza in the game room trying to win enough tickets to buy some janky toy. And then he lost his ticket receipt so he got a big pile of nothing.

After Brannon and I spent the drive home just making things worse by lecturing him, I realized that he wasn't in the right frame of mind to try to go to sleep. So I asked him to come sit in my bed and we went and read this chapter together online starting at verse 7. By the time I got to verses 14-20 he was just sobbing.

He looked up at me and asked, "That's exactly how I feel. Do you really think Paul felt like that when he wrote this?"

I told him that of course I thought so. That Paul was writing a letter to his church friends so he wouldn't just make things up. I asked if it made him feel better to know that someone else understood how he felt.

"Well of course! Paul is like the third best Christian of all time!"

"Third?" I asked. "Who's first and second then?"

He thought for a second and said, "Well, Jesus and Moses I guess."

I told him Jesus didn't count because He's who all of us Christians are trying to copy and Moses didn't count because you couldn't be a Christian before there was a Christ. So he was even more pleased then that the greatest Christian of all time had been right in his shoes. Maybe not with arcade games. But still in the same desperate, minute-by-minute struggle against sin.

I love how verse 24 reads in the KJV. O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

As humiliating, frustrating, grueling, exhausting, and consuming as it sometimes feels, I never want to stop warring against my flesh. I want to cling to the cleansing, burning, refining, purifying, and refreshing power and presence of the Holy Spirit inside me. He is the only one who can set me free from this body of death.

Romans 6

2009-11-13T23:31:00.000-06:00

I don't know, maybe I've written about this before, but a concept that I've thought a lot about is in this chapter. Paul talks a lot about killing your sinful self. Putting your flesh to death. And when I look back at my walk with Christ that's kind of how I would describe it.

One time, I was sitting in a conference next to my friend Scott and the speaker asked us to take a few minutes and talk to the person next to us and share our testimony. Well, to be honest, mine is a long story. I really don't recall a time in my childhood when I wasn't aware that God loved me and I loved Him back. I do have many memories though of being keenly aware of my sin. So instead of a testimony of some dramatic prayerful conversion, my story is more like Paul describes here. Serial suicide.

Time and time again I see God setting His sights on a target hiding deep within me. He stalks the victim and then finally puts it to death. Things like conceit, being judgmental, over-confidence in academic achievement (that one fought back tooth and nail), materialism, impatience, greed, apathy about poverty, rage, pride, and such a hideous list of others. Even seemingly harmless habits that He found distasteful like being hooked on TV shows, feeling the need to over-entertain when people came over, spending too loosely, or collecting things that collect dust. One after another God chose something in me that needed to die and then led me through a series of experiences, relationships, and other influences that brought it to light and choked it out.

That's my testimony. Serial suicide. Killing my old man again and again and again. Until all of me is gone and there's only room for Him. I'm far from done though. Because every time a piece of me dies, He turns His light to shine in another dark corner.

(By the way, Scott said, "Wow. That's pretty dark. You can't tell it that way, you know." Yeah, I know. But that's how I think of it anyway. And I've got Paul and this dark chapter to back me up.)

Romans 4

2009-11-12T22:23:00.000-06:00

I love this clear teaching about Abraham. I love how although he is held up as the Father of our faith that I can still relate to him. He was faced with an impossible promise. But he realized that God's promises are truth. Then, even when he looked at the reality of his condition, the facts, his faith wasn't weakened. Why? Because of one reason. He was convinced that God was able to do what He promised.

Are you convinced that God is able to do what He promises? I think most people would say yes. But part of the problem is we don't even know what we've been promised. Abraham had the privilege of talking to God in audible dialog. He spoke with visible heavenly messengers. And He is the epitome of faith.

Now think about it. You and I are likely to never hear God or see and angel physically. And yet we are called to believe. So, when we are able to put our faith in God, how much greater our faith really is! It's kind of like what Jesus said to Thomas, "Blessed are they who believe without seeing." That's us.

I'm going to spend some time really meditating on that one phrase: He is faithful who promised. He is. I know it. I want to believe. Lord, help my unbelief.

Romans 3

2009-11-11T22:08:00.002-06:00

No one will be declared righteous by upholding the law.

That's easy to say, but hard to accept. We work so hard to earn something we can never afford. God holds all the cards. He always has. In his love and mercy and patience He extended His grace to us at the highest price imaginable. It seems like two common things I see people struggling to accept are both in this chapter. Either people are proud and don't think they are a sinful person. Or they think they aren't good enough and must wrork hard enough to earn righteousness. Both I think come from the same faulty misunderstanding. We don't really have a full realization of what it means that God is holy. We don't get what perfect and awesome and righteous really means. What do we know of holy?

Take a look at us:

"There is no one righteous, not even one;
      there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.
All have turned away, they have together become worthless;
   there is no one who does good, not even one.
  ...and the way of peace they do not know.
   There is no fear of God before their eyes."

Now take a look at Him:
Watch this.

Romans 2

2009-11-10T01:00:00.001-06:00

This is a challenging chapter in a challenging book. But as a teacher, it really holds me in check. I have to constantly live in a way that represents the truth I want taught in our church. I must keep my focus on how God is healing my own fault and not judge what He is doing in anyone else. Not easy. But the more I walk towards grace and away from the law, the more freed I do feel. His grace is enough. And the power of His Holy Spirit fuels the transformation. I want my praise from God not from men.

How does this chapter challenge you?

Isaiah 42

2009-11-09T23:20:00.000-06:00

See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare;
before they spring into being I announce them to you.

Sing to the LORD a new song, his praise from the ends of the earth...

I love how excited God is to announce the new things He is planning. Here He is getting all riled up about sending Jesus. And all of this is hundreds of years still before His birth. But to God of course, that's all just a blink of an eye. I actually think it's not just that time passes differently for Him because He's eternal, I think time is a mental construct that we experience because He created us to be a part of a physical finite existence. We can't process existence outside of time. But of course He can. He's who made it.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about what to do next writing-wise. Last year at this time, I feel like God led me to start this blog. Not for you really (although I hope a few people have enjoyed it) but for me. I've never really journaled about the Bible for any decent amount of time. I tended to just blaze through the One Year Bible haphazardly and without really ever taking time to process and learn from what I was reading. So I started this blog as a dialog with God really about what He was saying to me through His Word. And instead of trying to read through the whole thing in order, I decided to just commit to read one chapter a day and really meditate on it. So that's what Metacognician has become. But now, in just about six weeks from now, it will be over.

So here's what I believe God is leading me to do now. I still plan on reading and meditating on the Bible every day. That would be silly to say I would quit. It would be paramount to saying I was going to forget to eat most of the time. Which has never happened I assure you. But what I'm going to do is use a new Twitter account I set up called Metacognician to send not more than 140 characters (the Twitter limit) to micro-blog about what I read. I'll tweet a link to what I'm reading via the YouVersion.com online Bible and then a quick statement or something about what God's saying to me through it. And that will be that. I won't close this blog, and I may come back to it occasionally, but it seemed the wrong thing to do to turn this blog into something different.

So for the something different. I am currently seeking God about some really serious direction about the overall teaching methodology and content development of the curriculum that my team creates. It's sort of my role to guide that part of the process and I see lots of value in trying to invite people in to the mental (and spiritual) process that God is leading me through in all of the various areas. There are amazing people I've met and many people who serve on our campuses in either staff or volunteer roles who I think would not only love to get an inside peek at where things are headed but would also be an invaluable source of input and feedback and guidance and even prayer support. Many of these people are ones I rarely get a chance to really spend quality time just dreaming and planning and thinking and learning. So although I am very much going to continue to realize my calling to be the metacognician God has created me to be, I am going to put my time writing to a more immediately practical use to the specific part I play in His big story.

So I am letting you know now, that you are going to get "in on the ground floor" of all of this. I have already registered another blog name and will start putting the framework together for it, but I will not switch over to it until January 1st. I will sing to the Lord a new song. And I can't hardly wait!

World Orphan Day

2009-11-08T00:01:00.002-06:00

Today is a special day I had never heard of until Saturday night from my pastor's wife. Today is World Orphan Day. So, even though I've already written a post on the entire chapter I want to say something about James 1:27.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

It was especially touching to me to see Amy talking about her heart for this. She didn't offer any specific action steps. She just spoke passionately and read this scripture. Brannon and I often talk about how in our world, today's widows are single parents and today's orphans are kids in foster care.

So today, we put our life where our mouth is and take our final step towards becoming foster parents. As of today, our case study is finally done (after serious paperwork hang-ups since June). In the next couple of weeks, maybe for Thanksgiving, we'll have a new little friend from six weeks to three years of age in our homes. Tonight, for the first time all three of our kids seemed really excited about it. (They each have expressed excitement before, but this was the first time they all three seemed on the same page about it.)

So who is in distress in your world that needs your active caring? Read this chapter if you need a reminder about how it insists on action over sentiment. Just get out there and do something today about the poor and needy. (Oh, and don't let the world corrupt you either.)

Numbers 9

2009-11-07T01:00:00.000-06:00

The pillar of glowing cloud. I mean seriously. How breath-takingly awesome would that be? It's so hard to even imagine seeing God's manifest presence there in the middle of your camp. Part of me wonders why we can't see stuff like this today, but the other part of me answers. The kinds of marvels that brought glory to God in those days sadly might not do the trick in our day. People are so jaded and skeptical and unwilling to believe. I wonder what would happen if something like that happened today. If God showed up in the form of a pillar of fire and cloud. If it made the news would people just make fun? Would scientists explain it away? Would Christians even believe or would we argue about it. At any rate, God chose to do it then and hasn't chosen to do it today.

Or has He, and we just aren't looking?

Numbers 6

2009-11-06T01:00:00.001-06:00

So can you name any notable Nazirites? It's weird how much detail is taken here to describe this vow and its associated rituals and then you don't hear much about it anywhere else. It's kind of like a marketing campaign that just didn't take off. But it's not. It was God's directions to the Israelites which was included in God's Holy Word to us today. So besides Samson, probably the most famous Nazirite, I wonder why it doesn't get much play?

I don't know but I do really like the blessing at the end. I will pray it for you readers.

May the Lord bless you and protect you.
May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.
May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.

Revelation 1

2009-11-05T01:00:00.000-06:00

This is all such beautiful imagery. I love getting glimpses of what worship is like in heaven. How pure and holy it is. I can't hardly wait until I get to go to Patmos next year and really meditate on this wonderful Revelation.

My other favorite website, Biblegateway.com, did a survey to see who their users would most like to have dinner with from the Bible. Of course Jesus was at the top of the list (He should have been disqualified), but the one I think I would pick didn't make the top 20. I think I would pick John.

For starters, you've got the whole first-hand experience with Jesus. Second, he certainly has the whole love of God thing down pat which is really what I'm seeking right now too. But last but not least, this book. I would want to pick his brain. Maybe there's just a little more he didn't write down. Or what stuff was he just describing because he really had no words for what he was seeing.

Well, the thought I'd like to leave you with is this. If the church is a lampstand, what are we illuminating? Are we staying filled with the oil of the Holy Spirit? Are we shining brightly? Have we placed ourselves on some hard-to-reach altar? Or are we in among the darkness, straining to light the way for the lost?

It's just all such lovely pictures. Good thing to fall asleep thinking about.

Numbers 1

2009-11-04T01:00:00.000-06:00

Here are my random thoughts about this chapter:

Wouldn't it be AWESOME for Moses to come tell you that God had chosen you BY NAME to do this task for Him? Wouldn't you just do ANYTHING that he told you? I want to feel the same way about the inner leadings of the Holy Spirit. I want to remember how much far greater it is to have God speak to you from the inside than it is for him to tell someone else to tell you. That's easier said than done.

I think it's weird that God commands a census in this case and later in the Bible forbids it. I think that stands as a reminder that some things are commanded to us because of what's in our heart not because they represent absolute truth or God's unchanging will on the subject. I think too often I'm quick to think that rules and commands God has set for me are something I need to now legislate for others. Like, I really believe God doesn't want me to listen to secular music. I really like it. And lots of people I really like like it so much that's pretty much all they listen to. But maybe I need to realize that God told me that because of what's in my heart. Maybe I need to allow God to be as original in their lives as He has been in mine.

OK, who else wants to be a Levite? That would be so cool! You get to huddle up on the closest spots to the Tabernacle. You get a front row seat to the action of everything. But, oh yeah, the blood and the burning. That would be pretty gross. Our sin is gross. That's what that stuff was there to remind us of. I guess if I were a Levite, I'd smell like a smoker all the time. Or maybe like smoked meat. Mmmm. That might not be so bad. But what about the off chance that your name would get drawn someday to go into the Holiest of Holies? It would all be worth it just for that.

When I meditate on this nomadic lifestyle and very earthy, hands-on life the Israelites had, I wonder in what ways the trappings of modern life are exactly that, trapping me. I don't want to insulate myself from the sound of wind and rain on my tent while I sleep, or the smell of the sacrifice that was made for my sin, or the community of setting up camp side-by-side, or the constant sight of the presence of God there in the midst of us day and night. What will that cost? How long will it last? What steps will He ask me to take? Where is all this going? The Israelites didn't know either. And they "did all this just as the LORD commanded Moses." I want to obey it all too.

Romans 14

2009-11-03T01:00:00.000-06:00

So it's funny that I should end up here today. Brannon and I are being vegans this month, with the notable exception of Thanksgiving. Vegan just means no animal products at all including eggs and dairy. We're mainly just doing it for health reasons but I think it's funny that this chapter should use as its primary example whether or not you eat meat. I guess that was a pretty big deal back then since Paul has to mention it to several of the cities he writes to. And of course the whole dream with the unclean animals in a sheet that Peter had.

But the verse that really stands out to me is the one about not telling someone else's servant their business. I loathe that in myself. And that's such a good way to say it to remind me that whatever any other Christian is doing isn't my business. It's between them and God.

Today I saw my team leader, who I have known for almost seven years, get weepy for the first time ever. I mean, it's the first time I can recall ever witnessing her getting choked up. And it was about this very thing. She said she knew a mother whose 16-year-old daughter had suffered near fatal head injuries last year in a skiing accident. She had to have her skull removed because of the horrible swelling on her brain just to keep her alive. And although she was home finally, she had a long way to go to recover. One side affect is that she gets very car sick. So recently, her family had to drive to Tulsa. And to try to keep her as comfortable as possible, her mother say in the back and cradled her head in her hands to try to hold it still. Her father drove at 50 miles per hour, just barely over the minimum.

But for many miles, an irate woman in a big SUV honked and swerved and shook her fist at them for holding up traffic. Instead of anger, the mother just told my leader, "She just didn't know our story. She didn't know what precious cargo we were carrying."

And you know, we never know. Even for those who we think we know we don't really. Everyone should get the same grace and mercy we have been shown. And we must be the ones to show it. Even if it means a different menu, like in this chapter, or getting to Tulsa late, like in my boss' story. You just never know.

But He does. He knows all my junk and yet He loves me. And this marvelous mysterious love that has been lavished on us is the same thing we must pour out on others. Not with conditions. Not with some held back. Love from the fire hose like each of us gets from Him.

1 Corinthians 14

2009-11-02T20:52:00.002-06:00

I've already done a post for Valentine's Day in 1 Corinthians 13 and a few weeks ago I did a pretty bland one on 1 Corinthians 12. But today, I'd like to do something I haven't really ever done before this past week. Read these three chapters as a whole unit.

Last Thursday I was driving to work and had a revelation. It was seriously the mental equivalent of walking out of a movie theater into daylight. I've been meditating and discussing 1 Corinthians 13 a lot because we're working on the February LifeKIDS.tv series and it's about God's love. I've been meditating and discussing 1 Corinthians 12 a lot because my pastor is doing a series on the Holy Spirit and I try to study whatever he's working on. Anyway, I know both of those two chapters well enough that I can sort of see them laid out in my head. And here's what I realized. All at once like a ton of bricks. A pretty elementary thought really.

All three of these chapters are on the same subject. There were no chapter breaks in Paul's letter. He told us in the first verse of 12 what he was going to explain. Spiritual gifts. And that's exactly what he did until he changed the subject at the beginning of 15.

It's easy to see that chapter 12 is all about spiritual gifts, which to me and defined as the power of the Holy Spirit flowing through you towards others. I mean, the power of the Holy Spirit can certainly work wonders in you, but that's for your benefit. When He works through you, in a big variety of ways, that's a gift. And you aren't necessarily the recipient of the gift, the body of Christ is.

It's also easy to see that chapter 14 is all about spiritual gifts. He lays out all the distinctions of how they benefit different groups of people and the way to keep a supernatural experience from introducing chaos into worship.

But it's 13 where the revelation came. Paul didn't change subjects. He wasn't writing a love chapter. It took me a while for that thought to sink in. Really though, when people call it the love chapter I've always thought that was sort of weird because really all people are talking about is verses 4-8. The beginning is still spiritual gifts and it ends up still about spiritual gifts.

So here's what I'm getting at. Paul lays out all kinds of spiritual gifts that are for individual situations and also those for individual callings. Those are what 12 is all about. But at the end, he says we should desire to have the best gifts. And he says, "Hang on tight because I'm going to show you an even more excellent way."

Then, he goes through how it doesn't matter if you have just the right gift in the right situation or a gift that places you in a high calling because there is one gift that eclipses all of the others. It is both the source and the outcome of the power of the Spirit. God's love. Think about it. You've probably heard it read at weddings more times than you've heard of it lived out. You may have seen it more often embroidered on pillows than you have in someone who consistently embodies it. And the times that you have? It's because that person is devoted to walking with the Spirit. Allowing His power to flow not just to them but through them.

God's love is the most excellent way, it is the greatest, it endures forever, it never fails all because it is a gift of the Holy Spirit, a manifestation of His power. The one that every single Christ-follower should exhibit every single day. Not just at the occasional revival or in some upper room. It is the Spirit-filled power to love those who are unlovable with a love that's impossible to achieve by human standards. Sure there are some great humanitarians who are kind and patient and considerate, but that's why he clarified what he was tlaking about with the whole list. Nobody's that selfless. Our sin nature won't allow it without the supernatural redemption and grace that it takes to free us from it and the infilling of the Holy Spirit that comes along with it.

When it all started to sink in, love being the greatest of all spiritual gifts, my mind started racing to other scriptures I knew. Like it always used to bother me in 1 John how he held up love at the litmus test of whether or not you were truly "saved" or not. "If you don't love others, then you don't know God." I mean, if you were really great at all the other things, it seemed like that was a silly loophole. But it's not. Because God is love. If you have His Spirit inside of you, it should be manifested in the form of love. Whether or not you ever have occasion to interpret tongues. Whether or not you're an apostle. You must love. And you require the power of the Holy Spirit in order to be able to pull it off.

Or what about Galatians 5 when Paul lists the evidence of the Spirit? The fruit, not fruits, the collective noun fruit of the spirit is love. And the whole rest of that list? Good luck living those out without it. Some of those like kindness and patience even show up as a part of the chapter 13 definition.

So, I'm not sure still what God's intentions are for showing me this angle of His love, but I know that in the immediate future I am seeking to invite it to flow through me towards my kids and my husband, my friends and my coworkers, my extended family and strangers. To be honest, I'm pretty tired of trying to live up to that "love is" list plaque with hearts and flowers on it that I have hanging on my laundry room wall.

I really don't imagine it to be as mind-blowing for you as it was for me. For one thing, it probably took you a long time it read this, and it hit me all within a few seconds. I also don't think no one else has ever throught of it. I feel like it's something people have always known and I just couldn't ever hear what that were saying because I was "looking through a glass dimly." Anyway, I've been mulling it over since Thursday morning and thought I'd take the time to write it down a little.

Now, don't just read chapter 14. Start where Paul opened the subject at the beginning of 12 and read it straight through. This also gives me an added bonus: I got to write on this chapter without addressing that pesky verse about women keeping quiet. :)

Psalm 134

2009-11-01T01:00:00.001-05:00

So here we are at the summit. At Jerusalem. Worshiping in the temple. The psalms of ascent end with this brief little blip of a psalm. But do you come to God's House with this same process? Of preparing your heart and mind and getting ready for worship? I rarely do. I love it once I'm there, but I often rush past the majesty of it all.

I'm going to end with the lyrics to a song that this psalm reminded me of from my childhood. A simple easy-listening, almost hippie kind of song by some guy named Dallas Holm. (That was a link just then to You Tube to listen to it with the lyrics BTW.)

Here we are
In Your presence
Lifting holy hands to You

Here we are
Praising Jesus
For the things He's brought us through

Psalm 133

2009-10-31T00:01:00.001-05:00

OK all of the oily beards and dew and stuff don't really connect with me. But it's amazing how much the living together in unity thing has come up. I just read the essay on Community in Blue Like Jazz today as a matter of fact and it was about how Donald Miller's pastor insisted that he move from his home in the country all by himself to live with 4 other roommates. His time of being subjected by force to togetherness led to spiritual renewal and life change in him. I have nothing to add to his opening comments:

Before I loved in community, I thought faith, mine being the Christian faith, was something a person did alone, like monks in caves. I thought the backbone of faith was time alone with God, time reading ancient texts and meditating on poetry or the precepts of natural law and, perhaps, when a person gets good and godly, levitating potted plants or pitchers of water.

It seems that way in books. ... It was all stuff you did in a quiet room. ... I hadn't seen a single book (outside the majority of the books of the New Testament) that addressed a group of people or advise a community with advice about faith.

Anyway, my brain has been on complete overload for the past couple of days surrounding the supernatural power of God's love. And you flat out can't experience it all by yourself. Sure you can know God loves you. But until God loves through you, you really can't feel the buzz. (It's like getting shocked. It doesn't matter how many volts you touch as long as they don't flow through you. ) So right now, I want to feel full-on electrocuted.

Psalm 132

2009-10-30T01:00:00.000-05:00

Seriously, how often do you marvel at the wonder of the prophecies about Jesus in the Old Testament. Picture King David centuries before, writing lyrics for a new worship song. He's totally talking about his own life, his own city, and his own words from God that he considered to his won personal family. And yet, there was the breath of God, His Holy Spirit inspiring what he was writing. It is laced with Messianic messages. What a wonder. What an incredible colossal galactic orchestration of history. All to send us Jesus, the anointed one from the house of David. The horn of strength that will rise out of Jerusalem. The Mighty One of Israel.

Do you marvel that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead, and inspired dozens of writers to bring us His Word, lives in you? That breath of power flows through me today because He raised Christ from the dead. Oh, LORD, I will not enter my house or go to my bed, or lay down to close my eyelids until I have made my heart a temple, a home for your presence. Come Spirit, come.